HogwartsCross Academy Exchange
by Awesomewriter177
Summary: Some of the Night Class Members (and Yuki thanks to Kaname "Persuading" Headmaster Cross) are on an exchange to Cross Academy-it's Harry, Hermione and Ron's 5th year and all the Hogwarts pupils are obsessed with some music videos by Ginny's friend which she showed them on youtube. What will happen..? (Set after the second volume of vampire knight so she has just found out boutZero)
1. Floo Powder

**WHHHHHYYYYYYYY?! I so desperately want them! Vampire Knight! Especially Kaname-Okay, I'm certifiably weird. You know ur strange when u think anime/manga characters are hot... And Harry Potter too...I'd LOVE to be friends with Ginny and Luna -** ** _sigh-_** **Oh well, at least I can write fanfics about them!**

3 years previously

Ginny's PoV

I can't wait to start at Hogwarts! I'm soooooooo excited! And _Harry Potter_ is in the year above! But he's so amazing-a celebrity, an idol, a _legend_. He won't EVER like little me. Never ever. I wish he would. I LOVE him. But he'll never know and even if he does, he won't accept it.

"Alright Ginny, we think you're grown up enough to stay home alone! If you like, use the phone to ring us-numbers are on the fridge. Don't go outside and don't go on any of the broomsticks or do anything remotely unsafe! But, if you get lonely, you can visit Suki in France using the Floo network. Next year, she's going to become an Aura!"

My eyes grow wide at this. The most freedom I've EVER had.

"Okay."

"And don't worry about taking powder with you if you go, it'll just spill. Besides, she has a large supply of it. She says she's happy to have you, so you can go-just be sure to be back here by six because we'll be back by then and we're having Hermione to tea at seven-Harry might be there too! So you'll want to look your best!" I nod, anticipation burning a sizzling hole in my brain.

"Goodbye then, are you sure you don't want to come with us?"

Go with her and Percy to watch Percy's speech at some boring old stuffy hall in front of a load of wrinkled geezers? I'd rather die! Stick needles in my eyes, wax every bit of hair from my body with 3 wax strips and then smother myself with those three hairy things whilst lying in a bath of my own blood gradually extracted in a painful process.

"I'm sure!" I smile brightly and wave! She bustles out of the door, turning to look anxiously into my face. I do my best to smile innocently and watched them climb into the ministry-appointed car. They drive off and I'm all alone. PHEW! I thought they'd never leave.

TIME TO PARTAY!

I kick my shoes off and dance on the polished granite hardtop for approximately 10 seconds before I fall off and bruise my knee. I only avoid worse injury by curling up like an armadillo and rolling across the floor. I freeze as it occurs to me that my overprotective mother has probably set up a magic spy system to check on me. I whiz upstairs, hair flying out behind me and rush into Ron's room. I have the house to myself and Ron won't have thought to protect his room. I grab a volume of "The Adventures of Martin Miggs the Mad Muggle" and lounge on his bed, leisurely flipping through the pages.

After the second book, I turn to the clock. 20 minutes have passed since mum left. I replace the books on the shelf and bounce on his bed. Then, I clamber from it and exit the room. I'M BOOOOOOOORED! I walk casually to my room, ignoring the ghoul in the attic clanging about. Picking up one of the new Hogwarts-appointed books, I flip through it, ignoring the words and just looking at the strangely drawn pictures. Caricatures even. I'm about halfway through when a book slides out. It's made of dark bluish-black leather which is cracked and worn. I open it and look onto creamy pages with the fluffy texture of age. It's completely and utterly empty. I place it back in my supply cauldron and wander downstairs.

Mum had said I could visit Suki, so I meander through the kitchen to the large fireplace and seize a large handful of floo powder. Maybe that much is unnecessary, but Fred and George told me that the more you take, the faster you get to your destination. They're always telling fibs and winding me up so it probably isn't true. But what have I got to lose?

I drop it into the fireplace and feel the pleasant heat of those roaring, emerald flames, glittering and dancing. I step in and cough on a lungful of powder which has bounced upwards-I used WAY too much.

"Suki Croix" I manage to choke out and feel the familiar sensation of being whipped away through dense tubes. My foot bumps against the wall creating an erotic rhythm and I find myself tumbling out of the fireplace and sprawling onto a rough carpet.

"Who are you?" I look up to see a petite girl, around my age, handling an oddly shaped ninja's staff and pointing it directly at me.

"Ginny. Ginny Weasley. Where am I?" I ask, afraid for my life with her wielding such a strangely terrifying weapon.

"Cross Academy. My dormitory. Well, I share it actually, but Sayori is not here. Anyway, I ask the questions. How did you get here and what are you?"

"What are you?"

"I'm not in any position to tell a potential threat and intruder to my bedroom personal information. What are you? How did you get there? Are you English, American or Japanese but speaking English?"

 _Japanese?_ I take a closer look and realise that I must be in Japan! There's a book on a bedside cabinet with strange figures for writing and similar ones are carved onto the silver weapon she wields.

"English. Floo powder. Witch."

"Witches are real? Well, that's a first."

Oh no! I just told a MUGGLE about witches! A dangerous looking muggle wielding a deadly staff-and she won't have any floo powder because she's a MUGGLE! Unless she's not a muggle...but then what is she? Besides, even if she's not a muggle, she isn't a wizard or witch so she won't have any floo powder and I'm trapped in Japan.

I feel a hot tear prickle at my eye, stinging my pupil. I bite my lip but it trickles down my cheek before I can stop it.

"Hey now, don't cry." She places her pole on the floor and kneels in front of me. I notice that the pole is right next to her hand-she's not taking any chances.

"My name's Yuki. I'm a human, but I know lots of vampires."

"V-vampires?" I'm reminded of the book I found the plain diary in-Voyages with Vampires by Gilderoy Lockheart! But how come this young girl knew a load of vampires without being dead?

"Yes. But don't worry, they won't hurt you. Now, where did you come from?"

"My house in England. I need to be back by six!" I realise that it's the middle of the night.

"Why isn't your roommate here in the middle of the night?" I wrinkle my brow. "Is SHE a vampire?" there is an undercurrent of panic in my voice.

She shakes her head. "No. It's the holidays.I live here with my adopted father, Kaien Cross and my adopted kind-of-brother Zero. There are two classes, Night Class and Day Class. Day class students, like Zero and I, are humans and, other than us two, completely oblivious to the species of the Night Class students. The Night Class? Vampires. Zero and I are the Disciplinary Committee, we keep the humans from finding out about the vampires." she sighs, "But nobody except for Sayori, Zero, Headmaster Cross and Kaname like me."

"Who's Kaname?"

"When I was five, he rescued me from a savage vampire attack. He's a vampire, but he's nice. That's why I believe that the Night Class students are good-although he's the only one I know."

I nod, understanding. "I don't have many friends either-do you wanna be my friend?"

She smiles, a cute and happy smile which lights up her eyes. "Yes!" she kicks the pole away and stands up, offering me a hand.

"But first, we need to figure out how to send you home-assuming you don't have any of that Foo Powder you said you came here with."

I shake my head. Regretful. "No, I don't have any _Floo_ Powder." I subtly correct her "I don't suppose you have any?"

"Nope."

Well...this is a sticky situation.

"Hang on. Is Floo Powder green and glittery."

My head snaps up. "Yes. Why?"

"Because there's a load on the carpet by your feet."

I glance down, it must've spilled from the fireplace. YESSSSSSS!

"If you try and scrape some up, you can use it to get home!"

I nod enthusiastically. "I'll come back to visit soon!"

"Please do! But do it before next Wednesday because Sayori will be back then and she knows nothing about Vampires and Wizards-we can swap addresses and write to each other!"

I grin. "Sure! Bye!"

She waves as I step into the fireplace. "The Burrow." and then, all of a sudden, I'm back home. What an adventure...


	2. Kaname's Powers of Persuasion

**COME ONNNNNNN! Hey Universe, you're really taking your time in giving me Vampire Knight and Harry Potter! RIGHT NOW would be preferable.**

 **Okay, listen "GOD" or "Science" or WHOEVER created the world-WHY DO YOU INSIST ON TORTURING ME? HUH?!**

 **Devil: I think she's cracked...even I don't want her soul now! TOO STRESSFUL! Besides...she gives me the creeps.**

 **Me: What was that?!**

 **Devil: NOTHING! Just, umm...being...evil?**

 **Me: HUMPH! If you don't watch what you say, I'll force you to take my soul!**

 **Devil: NO! PLEASE! ANYTHING BUT THAT!**

 **Me: You are under MY control! Mua ha ha ha ha!**

 **Psychologist: Yes, I think she may have deluded herself into thinking she's speaking with the devil rather than a wall...Rather peculiar.**

Back in the Present

Kaname's PoV

I knock on Headmaster Cross' office door. He sent Zero to fetch me-although I'd have much preferred it if Yuki had come instead. She's so sweet, kind and wonderful. I dream about her all the time! I dream about Zero too. Nightmares where he takes my precious Yuki. But, it's not the taking that stresses me mosts. It's the constant worry that she finds me repulsive or is unhappy. That's a truly shocking thought. Sometimes, I dream that she's dead. Then I wake up in a cold sweat. Dreaming about Zero dying would be a pleasant thing due to his casual rudeness, (although it is a refreshing change from the stuffy manners I usually put up with) if it weren't for dream-Yuki's anguish.

"Come iiii-iiin!" The eccentric man trills. Great. He's in one of his...less sane moods.

"Good evening headmaster." I say quietly and smoothly. He beams from behind his desk. "Come in! Come in! Take a seat! Rose tea?"

"No thank you."

"Are you sure?" His eyes are wide and incredibly annoying unlike Yuki's sweet, adoring gaze.

"I'm sure, although it is kind of you to offer." I reply, emphasising the "is".

He twinkles at me, and suddenly, I'm afraid of what this authoritative oddball has done.

"So headmaster." I say, trying to keep the abrupt panic under my voice. "Why did you call me here?"

"The senate has requested a vampire/wizard exchange with an English school. Hogwarts school for witchcraft and wizardry."

"Pardon?" I crumple my brow. I know it is politically important-essential even, but leaving for an exchange would mean leaving my dear girl behind with...Zero. The level D, soon to be level E. I would never allow that-EVER. Because I cannot trust him, it may not be his fault-and I admit that with reluctance-but he cannot control himself.

"Hogwarts." Headmaster Cross repeats. "During half term, several members of the Night Class will go to England because our half term is a week before theirs! The night class is having the usual two week half term, but I'll give the day class three so that the Hogwarts students can come back for their exchange during their half term the next two weeks after! Then the day class students will have an extra week of school at the end of term to make up for the extra holiday they gain during this extended half term." He beams slightly madly, "I've got it all figure out!"

All except for one minor detail. Just one. Now, I am prepared to beg, wheedle, manipulate or even downright threaten. Besides, I have pureblood powers of persuasion although I did say I wouldn't use them. Well, I told the Night Class students...not the headmaster.

"Headmaster Cross, will Yuki be going?"

"Well, she isn't strictly a vampire..."

"Yes, but she will calm them because I'm sure they will be distrustful of us, doubting the safety of housing several vampires in their school no matter what they're told! Besides, it's hard to keep certain members under control, I won't name any names" Aido.

"So it would be useful to have a member of the disciplinary committee to help, they all respect her." except, maybe Aido, but a word from me will fix that.

"She must get rather lonely being stuck here in the holidays...not that anybody would not want to be staying with you."

He nods thoughtfully, "How considerate of you Kaname-sama. Very well, if Yuki is okay with it, she may go."

"Excellent, thank you Sensei Cross." I bow slightly, "May I go and tell her?"

"If you can find her then yes, yes you may." He smiles slightly insanely and waves as I exit the room, closing the door behind me before briefly closing my eyes and shaking my head.

"Kaname. What are you doing here?"

I turn to see Kiryu, standing in front of me, arms crossed complete with a hard stare.

"Zero-san." I nod slightly, acknowledging him.

"You haven't answered my question, Kuran." he spits out my surname.

"I was having a word with Headmaster Cross. About a student exchange." I turn and walk along the corridor towards Yuki's dorm.

"The exit is that way." he jerks his finger over his shoulder.

"I do know. If I didn't, I would take it upon myself to _learn._ I have been at this school for a while now, Zero. I don't need a walking, talking map, especially not such a hostile one."

Handled that one pretty well!

"I know you know." Zero growls, aggressive, "I'm directing you _away_ from Yuki's dorm."

"And why would you do that?" I raise an eyebrow, fully knowing precisely why.

He huffs. "I don't trust you Kuran, just remember that, I don't trust any of you bloodsuckers."

I keep my politely incredulous expression, "Well, correct me if I'm wrong, but I'm quite sure that _you_ are one, which is why _your_ teeth are puncturing _my_ dear girl's neck and _you_ are sucking her blood. Granted, you didn't ask for this, but then, none of us born vampires asked to be born a vampire. It's simply not our fault that we were made that way."

He grinds his teeth, seething and under the surface of my words, there is a boiling, bubbling fury which I am quick to conceal.

HOW DARE HE draw blood from MY Yuki, my precious girl! I don't care if she lets him, she has no idea what she's getting herself into! Not only could he kill her, but others could-and would-too.

I pivot on my heel and walk gracefully along the corridor.

"Turn around." I ignore his command. "I said TURN AROUND!" It isn't shouted, yet, but spoken rather loudly with a vehement force.

I oblige, spinning to face him. "Manners are an essential part of society." I state calmly, "Ever heard the saying 'Manners maketh man'? Maybe it's wrong, but the way you act is on display to everybody. So, if I were you, I'd make sure that I was aware of the barrier between my thoughts and my mouth."

I can see the blazing fury in his eyes. I don't care. All I care about is Yuki and right now, I'm not with Yuki, therefore I DON'T CARE!

"Why do you want to see Yuki?"

"Why do you ask? Do I need permission?"

"Not officially, but yes. Yes you do. And you AREN'T going to get it."

"If you must know, Headmaster Cross sent me. Defying me is defying him."

"I don't bloody care."

I tut softly, under my breath. "Well then, I guess I can't tell her this important thing and she'll be oblivious and confused and everything will be a surprise-but it may not be a nice surprise for poor Yuki."

He suddenly looks stricken. Like me, he cares deeply for Yuki. It's impossible for him to care as much as I do, but he does care.

"Tell me and I'll pass on the message."

I shake my head. "Sorry, but I cannot do that. The message is does not concern you as you are not included in the group in question. Ask the headmaster."

He glares at me. "I will."

He turns and opens the Headmaster's door without knocking and I quickly head towards Yuki's dorm room.


	3. YUKIIIIIIII! :) :) :)

**Me: I'm getting really pissed off Dee. I want Vampire Knight and Harry Potter.**

 **Devil: Well, I want Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Joe Alwyn and Britney Spears. Life sucks.**

 **Me: I know right?! But, no offence, but I think four's too many for you. I'll take one-Taylor!**

 **Devil: But she's the one I want most!**

 **Me: Yeah, well you can have Beyonce.**

 **Devil: Humph.**

Yuki's PoV

I rest, curled up on my bed, thinking. Poor Zero, he's been suffering for years! Does Kaname love me? No, who would love me? Besides, he's Lord Kaname, the pureblood and what am I? Some lousy little human. He probably thinks I am worth little more than childish amusement-and perhaps cuteness.

 _Knock. Knock. "_ Yuki?" a voice calls out softly.

"Come in." I swing my legs over the edge of my bed and stand up as the door opens.

"Kaname! Uhhh, hi." I smile awkwardly.

"Hello Yuki. May I come in."

"Yes, of course you may!" I try to look accommodating as he closes the door behind him and walks over to me.

"Yuki, are you interested in going to England?"

"Why?"

"Well, there's a vampire/wizard exchange during half term and Headmaster Cross agreed that you could come should you choose."

"B-but I'm not a vampire." I stammer.

"That doesn't matter." He smiles gently, a smile the lights up my room with a hazy, warm glow. "It'll calm the students and they'll know that we can be trusted if we're with somebody who's not a human and besides, I need help keeping them in check."

"Okay. Is Zero coming?"

"No. Because of his...ailment. He's going to the infirmary so that Toga and Headmaster Cross can try to find out more and preserve the life he has before Level E." I nod slowly, taking this in.

"Okay... Are you going?"

"Yes."

"Then...I'll go." He doesn't suppress an eager smile. "Great!" He walks over to the door. "Goodbye, Yuki-and look after yourself." Is it just me, or is there a touch of proper concern when he says that.

"I will." I wave, "By Kaname-sama."

"Just Kaname is fine."

"O-okay. Bye Kaname." He grins and opens the door, leaving me alone once again. Ginny's a witch so wizards must be practically the same-she's really sweet, so Wizards are presumably nice too.

Speaking of Ginny, I need to send her the video I made, the fan music video to Gasoline by Halsey. Plus I did one to idon'twannabeyouanymore by Billie Eilish. So I'll text her them together.

I pull out my phone-there's a text from her.

"Going back to school today!" she's sent me a picture out of the window of a train. There are some beautiful rolling hills cloaked in lush pastures. Wow. England looks beautiful! I hope it's like that where we go for the wizard exchange.

I sigh softly, imagining the sweet scent of freshly cut grass. I can almost smell the fragrant flowers, the ghost of the aroma fills the room. It fades as soon as I stop imagining it.

 _Hey Ginny! I made some music videos, (just for fun) wanna see?_

she texts back immediately, S _ure! Send them to me-do you mind if I show some of my friends?_

 _Okay. :) Here they are:_ I send the two videos, immediately self-conscious. What if they don't like them?

 _Thanks. :) just about to watch them!_

I place my phone down on my bed. About 6 minutes later, it buzzes.

 _OMG! I LOVE IT! They're gr8! My friends think so too! They say:_

 _L: Love the emotion!_

 _H1: It's really great!_

 _H2: What a fascinating character study with such vivid effects on your mind, I simply love it!_

 _R(my stupid brother): Cool! So is this what you girls do in your spare time? I thought you stuffed bras with socks..._

 _F+G (My other stupid brothers): Wow! Can we swap you for her?_

 _I think that you should post them, really I do. Put them on Youtube! We'll all like and comment and then more people will-the world will love it!_

The world? The entire world?!

 _I'm not sure..._ I cautiously reply.

 _Well I am, if you don't post them, I WILL!_ I laugh at her boldness-that's Ginny alright.

 _Okay, fine._

 _And send me the link, Yuki! BYYYYYEEEEEEEEE! :) :) :) :) :)_

 _Bye, then! :)_

I type up YouTube and create an account. How about...Black Diamond?

I decide on "BlackDiamond10" because my life started 10 years ago. I post the videos and send the link to Ginny. Then I flop back in the bed and spiral into a slumber.

Ginny's PoV

I sit on the train next to Luna, Harry, Ron and Hermione.

My phone buzzes, it's Yuki. Oh, and about a billion texts from mum...

I click onto the chat with Yuki. Mum can wait.

 _Hey Ginny! I made some music videos, (just for fun) wanna see?_

Of course I do! Yuki's awesome and anything could make this boring old train ride better. The others look completely and utterly bored too, so I can show them as well!

S _ure! Send them to me-do you mind if I show some of my friends?_

She types for a while before sending them on with the words: _Okay. :) Here they are:_

I click onto the first one. "Gasoline by Halsey, a music video by Yuki Cross. Warning: I don't own..." my eyes glaze over as I ignore the disclaimer.

Then suddenly the screen opens on a town in Japan-you can tell it's Japan because there's writing in Japanese characters everywhere!

As the first notes play, it gradually zooms in before travelling around the corner to a side street. Some small, doll like feet and ankles are peeping out of the shadows in one corner and the camera heads towards them.

Suddenly, she lunges out of the shadows. A trickle of blood in the corner of her mouth and eyes black, literally no pupil/iris distinguishable. She looks possessed!

"Are you insane like me? Been in pain like me? Bought a hundred dollar bottle of champagne like me."

Her eyes change to a gold-still creepy and possessed but less so then the black.

"Just to pour that motherfucker down the drain like me." the camera tilts downwards so I can see the fizzy, golden stream flowing over her tiny feet.

I watch the rest of the video, wide eyed as it tells the story of a poor girl shunned by her village because she has eyes which change colour and she hears voices. It's captivating!

"Hey guys, look at this!"

"What is it?" I turn to see Fred and George standing in the doorway of the compartment.

"My Japanese friend has made a music video for Gasoline, by Halsey-it's awesome!"

"Let's see then." Ron, my buffoon of a brother, replies. I turn my phone around and click full screen.

I play the video and watch their amazed faces.

"Love the emotion!" Luna breathes when it's finished, "Maybe she's a dancing walla-salla, they look like humans but their eye colour changes!"

"Actually, those are probably contact lenses. Unless it's a spell." Hermione says. "But what a fascinating character study with such vivid effects on your mind, I simply love it!"

Luna's expression is the perfect, "Haters gonna hate." face.

"It's really great!" Harry says, captivated by the video.

"Wow!" Fred and George say, synchronised as usual. "Can we swap you for her?"

I scowl.

"Cool! So is this what you girls do in your spare time? I thought you stuffed bras with socks..." Ron trails off, receiving glares from Luna, Hermione and I.

"There's another video too." I click onto "idon'twannabeyouanymore" and we watch it.

It's spellbinding! It includes things like her swimming through an empty, turquoise pool in a ghostly white dress before stepping out, the wet material dragging her backwards so she falls down and into a new scene, her at a ball in the same dress but dry with a ribbon around her neck and a red rose on her chest, directly over her heart, holding a red rose which withers and blackens as she drops it before turning to look at the moon which melts silvery into a mirror which she's gazing into in her bedroom. "I don't wanna be you, I don't wanna be you." and then suddenly, she's back by the pool, staring at her reflection. "I don't wanna be you." and then, as she sings anymore, she slips under, lips a beautiful yet worrying blue and eyes closed.

There's a stunned silence in the carriage, broken by Hermione.

"That NEEDS to go on YouTube. Then she probably needs some help for her mental health..."

"I agree with the first thing." Luna folds her hands and places them on her lap, "But as for the second...well, all the BEST people are crazy, don't you agree?"

I nod slightly, typing a response.

 _OMG! I LOVE IT! They're gr8! My friends think so too! They say:_

 _L: Love the emotion!_

 _H1: It's really great!_

 _H2: What a fascinating character study with such vivid effects on your mind, I simply love it!_

 _R(my stupid brother): Cool! So is this what you girls do in your spare time? I thought you stuffed bras with socks..._

 _F+G (My other stupid brothers): Wow! Can we swap you for her?_

 _I think that you should post them, really I do. Put them on Youtube! We'll all like and comment and then more people will-the world will love it!_

Immediately, she responds:

 _I'm not sure.._

 _Well I am, if you don't post them, I WILL!_ I send back, they're GREAT!

 _Okay, fine._

 _And send me the link, Yuki! BYYYYYEEEEEEEEE! :) :) :) :) :)_ I go a bit overboard with the smiley faces and exclamation marks...

 _Bye, then! :)_

I switch off my phone, we're almost at Hogwarts!


	4. Hogwarts Again!

**Devil: Cheat!**

 **Me: Nope, so you get the pack.**

 **Devil: Remind me why we're playing Bullshit again. 2 kings**

 **Me: Cos we're friends now and we're moping about not being able to own the things we want to. Remember? I want Vampire Knight and Harry Potter? Also, it's more polite to refer to the game as "Cheat" or "I Doubt It" because we don't want the fanfic to be rated M.**

 **Devil:** ** _-sigh-_** **Why don't I own Beyonce?**

 **Me: Because the universe hates us. 3 queens.**

 **Devil: Oh yeah. Shit. One jack.**

 **Me: Cheat.**

 **Devil: Crap. You're good at this.**

 **Me: I grew up with two sisters. I learnt how to figure out when someone was lying-it's a dangerous life with older siblings!**

Hermoine's PoV

We're about to file out of the great hall when suddenly Professor Dumbledore cries out, "Wait! I have one more thing to tell students!"

We turn respectfully to face him, surprised.

"4th and 5th years have the opportunity to sign up for a student exchange with some Japanese vampires. During their half term, the two weeks before ours, they'll come to Hogwarts and be exchange students here, then during our two week half term, the students who signed up and were accepted will go back with them for 2 weeks. It's a wonderful opportunity! All students who want to take part must fill in a form found in the box outside my office and return it by the end of tomorrow."

I'm going to sign up. This'll be a wonderful educational opportunity.

"hey Hermione." Ron calls, "You signing up?"

"Of course. It'll be fascinating experience full of beneficial knowledge and social expertise."

He blinks, "Other than 'of course', I have no idea what you just said." I sigh.

"It'll be fun, Ron."

"Oh."

"I'm going to sign up too." I turn to see Ginny, standing next to me. 'The girl who made the videos I showed you on the train is Japanese. She's my friend."

"You have friends in Japan? How?" Ron asks, obviously perturbed.

"Floo powder incident."

"When?"

Ginny taps the side of her nose, annoying Ron no end.

"Let's go you two-Harry's already at the door." we turn and follow, going to our first lesson. I hope that Umbridge woman isn't too bad, but I have no doubt that she will be horrible.

 **Later in the day-Harry's PoV**

Everyone in Gryffindor is now OBSESSED with Ginny's friend's music videos! She created an account on Youtube like Ginny told her to and posted those two. She put in the description that she'd post another one tomorrow! I can't wait! They're so dramatic. Even the Slytherins have gotten wind of them and are loving them, the Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs too! And it's not just the Hogwarts students either! I caught Professor McGonagall watching 'Gasoline' in her office and the videos have thousands of views and likes from all over the world! She's going viral!

Nobody except for Ginny knows her real name because she keeps it anonymous and calls herself BlackDiamond10. It's a mystery!

In other news, Hannah Abbot, Ginny, Hermione, Luna, Dean and Malfoy have been accepted into the exchange. It's a in three weeks, so quite soon and the school is buzzing about it! Soon, they'll know who they have!


	5. Chapter 5

**Devil: Seriously? HULA DANCING?!**

 **Me: You lost, you get the forfeit.**

 **Devil: Fine. But I object to the grass skirt.**

 **Me: Uh, uh, uh! No objections permitted!**

 **Devil: :P**

 **Me: Do you want me to give you my soul?!**

 **Devil: NOOOOOO! I'm sorry! Who do I hula in front of?**

 **Me: Depends...I think Boris Johnson.**

 **Devil: But he'll get me arrested!**

 **Me: Precisely. Now go!**

 **Devil: Fine! By the way, you don't own Vampire Knight OR Harry Potter!**

 **Me: You just had to crush my dreams before you left, didn't you?**

 **Devil: Yep.**

 **Me: Well the jokes on you! You don't own Taylor Swift OR Beyonce! Or anyone else you want to! Mua hah ha ha ha!**

 **Devil: she makes me look like a saint!**

Aido's PoV

"Please meet me at 10pm in here everybody." Kaname orders, well, more politely then ordering, but we still listen to everything he says and obey.

"Yes, Lord Kaname." we say, right hands over our hearts.

"You don't have to do that." He says, but we're already leaving and he sighs instead.

"Lord Kaname, if you don't mind my asking, why do you want to see us?"

"Because four of you, since two places are already filled, will be going to England for a school exchange with Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. However, the exchange IS voluntary, so you may miss the meeting if you do not wish to go."

I nod, "When is it?"

"I will cover this all in the meeting. Half term."

"I'm going away then. Is it okay for me to miss the meeting since I cannot make it to the exchange?"

"Alright then." He walks away, holding the posture of a Lord. No, the posture of a king. He's terrifying and yet, not so much at the same time. Maybe because he's not trying to be scary-but he still is. I bet that if he tried, he could scare any of us to death in a heartbeat. Not that he would.

1 week later

Ichijo's PoV

"Okay, you 4 are going on the exchange along with Yuki and I. Before you ask, Yuki is going to try and prevent the inevitable distrust and to help keep you under control. Although since someone, who shall remain unnamed, is not coming, that shall be quite easy."

"It's Aido isn't it." I say.

"Yes."

Rima crunches on some pocky. "So Ruka, Senri and Aido are staying right?"

"That's correct."

"So if we take Senri's pocky, he may forget about it, with luck, by the time we get back!"

"YES!" I high five her.

"Anyway, food-stealing plans aside, we've been assigned our exchange students along with a photo."

All attention snaps to him as he pulls out a piece of paper.

"Seiren-san, you're partnered with a girl called Hannah Abbott." He hands her a picture of a pretty, blonde-haired girl. Seiren takes it quickly.

"Thank you Kaname-sama."

"Rima-san, you've been assigned a girl named Ginny Weasley." She gets the picture of a bold looking redhead with cute freckles.

"Atsuki-san, you have a girl called Hermione Granger." Main retrieves his image with a quick thank you. His exchange is a girl with bushy brown hair and lively eyes which seem to hold a lot of knowledge.

"I have got a boy named Dean Thomas and Ichijo, you have a boy called Draco Malfoy, and I wish you the best of luck because in the wizarding world, apparently he is from a powerful family, however extremely dislikable and not respected nor respectful according to many, many sources."

I sigh. Just my luck. I get stuck with the snobby brat. Even his picture shows that, he's smirking triumphantly, hair slicked back wearing a silk cloak with a gold fastening.

 **Hermione's PoV-Meanwhile at Hogwarts**

Professor Sprout stood up on the stage.

"Hello students, as you all know, I'm in charge of this exchange. The headmaster has worked with the headmaster of Cross Academy to pair up students and we have your exchanges written down. We sent photos of you to them and they have sent photos of them to you. Is everybody present?"

I put my hand up.

'Miss Granger?"

"Ginny Weasley is in the hospital wing because Peeves put chewing gum in a lock in the girls bathroom and she had to batter it down, then she fell through the door and broke her wrist."

Professor Sprout winces, "Ouch. Well, I've no doubt Madam Pomfrey will fix her up in no time! We'll just tell her later."

"Hannah Abbott."

"Yes professor?"

"You've been assigned Seiren. She has no second name. You may want to ask her about that."

"Hermione Granger."

"Yes, Professor Sprout."

"Your exchange is Akatsuki Kain." I wonder what she (or he) is like! I hope they're nice!

"Luna Lovegood?"

"Yes?" She gazes dreamily into space.

"You've been assigned Yuki Cross. She's not a vampire, but part of the disciplinary committee."

"Okay. I wonder if she's seen a Japanese Winged Bandram Rat..."

"Draco Malfoy."

"Yes, Professor?" He drawls, lazy, arrogant and obnoxious as usual.

"Takuma Ichijo."

"Dean Thomas?"

"Yes Professor?"

"Kaname Kuran. He's an exceedingly powerful vampire, a pureblood who's in charge. They all show him much respect and you will do so too. He can kill without a moments warning and is like a king. They refer to him as 'Lord Kuran' or 'Lord Kaname' so you should do as they do to avoid any awkward social situations."

Dean looks a bit nervous and I don't blame him-it's made me nervous too!

"And Ginny Weasley is not here. You are all dismissed and I'll send a message to the hospital wing that Miss Weasley is partnered with Rima Toya."

We file out. Only two weeks to go! I'm flooded with anticipation.


	6. sorting

**Me: Okay, so Dee is in prison doing time because apparently his coconut bra slipped and gave Boris Johnson a heart attack...too bad it wasn't Donald Trump! That would've been fun.**

 **I don't own Vampire Knight which is shit because I love it and it's great so I think it's so unfair I don't own it and, adding insult to injury, I don't own Harry Potter either. What next? Me not owning Taylor Swift?! Well, I guess she is a person...so I'll just be angry that we're killing the planet and earth is the ONLY planet with chocolate!**

Yuki's PoV

We arrive at Hogwarts at about 9ish. In the morning. Rima was bored so I gave her one of my headphones and we watched Russell Howard together the entire journey to get into the 'English mood'. We also chatted a bit-she's really nice! And she gave me some pocky! I LOVE POCKYYYYYYYYYYYYYY!

We're both on a sugar high now. But NOWHERE NEAR as bad as poor Ichijo. He bounced around for 15 minutes so Kaname handcuffed him to him so that he wouldn't accidentally kill someone and then he had a TERRIBLE sugar crash and now he's conked out on the seat next to Kain who looks mortified because Ichijo is drooling on his shoulder.

Sensei Toga came with us, he was close to shooting Ichijo when he knocked the last cigarette in his packet out of his mouth and onto the road. That was when Kaname decided it was safer for everyone to handcuff Ichijo to himself. A horse trod on the and we had to stop for 2 hours to look after the horse. Kaname was ready to just kiss the horses damn foot and be humiliated for the rest of his life we were so bored, luckily the horse was okay and we continued for 5 minutes before reaching the airport and flying to England. Honestly, the carriage was more trouble than it was worth. When we reached Gatwick, we had to walk in a drizzle at 7am in the morning with a freezing wind before getting onto a coach and having a fairly pleasant ride to the school which was slightly marred by Ichijo puking out of the window for the first hour.

Sensei Toga's fingers twitched towards his gun and Kaname hesitated before intervening. He _hesitated._ That's how annoying it was.

Luckily, Rima and I managed to block most of this out and sat at the back as far away from the vomiting Takuma Ichijo.

"Welcome to Hogwarts!" a tall man with a long white beard beams. "Do come in and we'll sort you into your houses."

We walk into a huge hall. We're standing in a dark corner, but the rest of it is lit by giant, levitating candles. There are four long tables, one is decorated with green and silver serpents, one by red and gold lions, one is blue eagles and the last is yellow badgers. They're crammed with students and each has a few empty seats.

"First of all, Yuki Cross!"

I walk shakily up to where the headmaster stands next to a stern-looking woman and a stool with a hat on it. There is a collective gasp from the entire hall and I freeze, terrified.

The room erupts into a clamour and I hear several snatches of words,

"Ginny's Friend"

"BlackDiamond10"

"Oh my god!"

"Videos!"

"I love!"

The stern-faced woman peers at my. "Good lord! Albus, it's the girl in those videos, the ones Miss Weasley was showing everybody!"

"So it is!"

Ohhhhh, they must have watched my music videos...everyone...wow, that's a lot of people.

"YUKI!" I turn to see Ginny waving from the red/gold table.

I wave back. Thank goodness I know someone.

A boy pushes his way over. He's got blonde hair, slicked back and is flunked by two large boys either side. Suddenly they rip off their robes, revealing their chests.

The first one says,

"Marry"

The next one, "Me"

and the blonde boy's says "BlackDiamond10" and he's holding a ring.

I think I'm dreaming.

"Uummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm..." Well, this is awkward.

"Who are you?" I say it as politely as possible as Ginny walks up the steps.

"What're you doing Malfoy?"

"None of your business Weasley." She splutters with laughter.

"HEY EVERYONE! MALFOYS JUST PROPOSED TO HER AND HE'S NEVER MET HER BEFORE. CRABBE'S CHEST SAYS 'MARRY', GOYLE'S SAYS 'ME' AND HIS SAYS 'BLACKDIAMOND10'! HE DIDN'T EVEN KNOW HER NAME WHEN HE WROTE IT AND NONE OF US KNEW SHE WAS COMING SO THEY MUST GO AROUND WITH THAT WRITTEN ON THEIR CHESTS!" the hall erupts in laughter.

"IF ANYTHING, SHE'D GO OUT WITH SOMEONE BETTER!" a girl calls out from the red table.

"SETTLE DOWN!" There's a loud bang and everyone sits back down, subdued.

The woman directs me to the seat and the entire hall holds their collective breath as she lowers the hat onto my head.

A voice startles me. "Well, well, well! This one's quite difficult. The bravery of Gryffindor, a touch of the slytherin pride-no, we won't put you there...you show the kindness and perseverance of a Hufflepuff and the knowledge and creativity of a Ravenclaw...Luna Lovegood eh? Well then, it'll have to be.."

"RAVENCLAW!" the hat shouts out to the entire hall and the occupants of the blue eagle table wave eagerly. I walk over to them and sit next to a vaguely familiar girl with blonde hair and wide blue yes. Of course! My exchange.

"Hi Yuki." she smiles dreamily, protuberant eyes wide, "My name's Luna, I'm your exchange. You're a sort of celebrity here I suppose. Like Harry, but a lot of people believe the prophet and they think he's bad. But that's because of propaganda."

She smiles sweetly I return the smile.

"Takuma Ichijo." we turn as a slightly-green Ichijo staggers to the stool and sits down sleepily.

"Hufflepuff!" Ichijo stumbles to the yellow badger table and slumps in a seat, eyes half closed.

"Akatsuki Kain" Kain walks confidently over to the stool and sits down. "Gryffindor" the hat bellows and he walks over to Ginny's table.

"Kaname Kuran." I tense, I really, REALLY want him to be in Ravenclaw. As he sits on the stool, hat lowered over his head, he looks directly at me, making eye contact.

"RAVENCLAW!" the hat declares and he comes over to our table, taking the seat next to me. YAYYYYYYY!

"Seiren"

"Ravenclaw." the hat yells before it's even properly lowered onto her head. She walks, face neutral towards the table and sits opposite me.

"Rima Toya!"

"Ravenclaw!" The hat proclaims and Rima sits opposite Kaname.

"Alright! Dig in!" The headmaster cries.

But...there's no food on the plates. Suddenly, piles of cakes and pastries, meats of every kind and colourful salads appear on the platters and in large serving bowls. Cut glass jugs fill with an orange-coloured liquid. Luna and the others begin helping themselves to food so I fill my goblet and taste it-pumpkin juice! It's cold and delicious. I take a little jam tart and nibble and it, savouring the sweet centre. Luna is munching happily on a caramel bun and Seiren is crunching on a carrot stick. Rima is stirring a couple of blood tablets into her goblet, her plate is already heaped with chocolate truffles, brownies, pocky from the box in her pocket and a large eclair. I turn to Kaname who gives me a slight smile. He's sipping from his goblet, the telltale box of his blood tablets resting beside his plate.

I turn to Luna, noticing that she's wearing a necklace made from what looks like an orange radish. Strangely, her eccentric accessory suits her.

"I like your necklace. It's very unique." I compliment her. She beams, "Thank you! Now tell me, have you ever seen a Japanese winged band ram rat..."


	7. Meeting the exchanges

**Devil (AKA: SNKlife): LET ME OOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUTTTTTTT!**

 **Prison guard: Okay, okay! Just stop yodelling! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!**

 **Devil: Thanks. By the way, juicy bit of gossip. Word round the cells is that Awesomewriter177 doesn't own Vampire Knight OR Harry Potter!**

 **Prison guard: -** ** _whistles-_** **Wow, she's not gonna like that!**

 **Devil: You know you love me. xoxo Gossip Girl.**

Hermione's PoV

Lord Kuran, as we've been told to refer to him as, looks quite imposing but I suspect he's just another brat like Draco. "My father will hear about this."

Bollocks. He says it so many times, I doubt he can remember half to tell his father and they all make him look like a spoilt wimp-which he is. I bet this Lord Kaname guy is just like him.

"After this, could all of the Cross Academy and Hogwarts students please meet in the library. Thank you." I glance over to the staff table as Professor McGonagall delivers this message. Professor Umbridge is still looking like a toad and probably will for all of eternity.

I shake the thought from my mind and chew a bite of my blueberry muffin. Ron is shovelling bacon into his mouth like there's no tomorrow and Harry is licking the icing off of a cupcake.

I notice that Kain guy in the corner of my eye. He takes a white box with a red emblem out of his pocket and opens it. He empties two white pills into his palm and pops them into his goblet, stirring it with a silver teaspoon. He takes out the spoon and a drop of pumpkin juice slides off it. Only its dark red with a viscous quality. Just like blood. I shudder and he glances up at me.

"It's not blood." His voice is deep and calming. It reassures me slightly.

"What is it then?" It comes out more accusatory than I meant it too.

The corner of his mouth tugs up almost unnoticeably, "Blood tablets. They trick a vampire's body into believing they're drinking blood and prevent us from having to drink blood." a note of pride colours in his words, "They're our own invention and VERY effective. Though they do taste horrible and aren't the bet sustenance." he places an iced cinnamon whirl onto his plate. "But we an eat ordinary foods as well."

Interesting.

"So why drink blood at all then if you can survive on human foods?"

He raises an eyebrow, "I didn't say survive did I? These foods give us no real sustenance although they do taste nice."

Okay, that's the second time he's said sustenance in two sentences. I file that useless piece of random knowledge at the back of my mind.

"So who's your exchange?" I ask, engaging in polite conversation. "I think mine's called Atsuki."

His lips twitch. "Akatsuki. It's Akatsuki."

"Okay, you know him then, Kain?"

He purses his lips to avoid expressing the bouts of laughter causing his body to tremble. How rude! I was just being civil.

"A word of warning, in Japan, we tend to refer to each other by second name. For instance, Akatsuki Kain." I blush. Whoops.

"Oh. Sorry."

"No, it's fine, it provided some humour which I needed after spending half of the coach ride here with Takuma Ichijo dribbling on my shoulder and the other half with him constantly puking out of a window. That was only the last part. Things almost got ugly in the carriage and on the plane, Lord Kaname handcuffed Ichijo to him to prevent Ichijo from accidentally causing a death which may have ended up being his own. Sensei Touga has a very short temper."

I'm shocked. Isn't sensei the Japanese term for teacher? A teacher almost murdering an ill pupil! That's certainly cause for concern!

He chuckles softly, "You needn't look so surprised, he's only really a teacher because Headmaster Cross insisted that if he were to 'hang around' campus all the time and/or live there, he needed to work there. He's a vampire hunter. Only really sent because of Kiryu. The bane of Kaname's existence."

He laughs again briefly,

"A level D vampire on the edge of insanity travelling at a rapid speed towards total loss of control. Level E. And who will bear the brunt of it? Why little Yuki of course, devoutly feeding him blood even though it's an illegal process likely to cause her death and risky with Zero. He cares a lot for her-but she seems oblivious, doting upon him herself."

Interesting. It'd probably be even more fascinating if I had any idea what Level D and E are.

"If you don't mind me saying." I begin, pondering, "You guys don't seem like vampires. Aside from the blood tablets and fangs. And the eerily good looks. In our knowledge, vampires are killing machines, insane and unstoppable. The only way to stop is to evade. That's literally what's written in our defence against the dark art books. Not much use is it?"

He looks thoughtful for a second. "Sounds like you guys think all vampires are level Es."

"What's a Level E?"

"When a human is bitten by a Pureblood vampire like Lord Kaname, they either die from blood loss or poisoning, or suffer the slow agony of the awakening to become a vampire. Such vampires are referred to as 'Level D' in vampire society and are the lowest level in the pyramid. They're easily controlled by their creator, also known as their master and are unable to kill them.When Hunters capture level D vampires, they tattoo them with their symbol and perform a "taming" ceremony enabling them to disable a vampire with a linked piece of jewelry. While the hunters have a ward to prevent vampires from entering their buildings, an exception is made for tamed vampires." Wow. That's just wow. And he sounds more like a textbook than I do!

"Eventually, every ex-human vampire falls to level E, and loses his or her humanity and goes mad with bloodlust. These vampires are then put on the list for extermination."

"But, I thought you said Level D was the lowest level?"

"It is. Level E is off the pyramid. They're no longer considered vampire citizens because they're no longer people inside, they are beasts who harm and expose our kind to all, making us all seem like mindless, destructive monsters."

"But killing them...that's horrible!"

"They aren't them anymore. Saving one life is endangering millions of other lives. Just one free Level E can kill at least 10 humans every day."

"But they USED to be human!" I must look extremely distressed because Ron and Harry turn.

"Are you alright, Hermione?" Harry asks, Ron just glares at Akatsuki.

I feel tears brim, "Y-yes."

"I'm sorry for upsetting you!"

"N-no. It's okay." Ron keeps glaring at him, but Akatsuki seems oblivious.

"Ron! He didn't mean to upset me. You can stop trying to kill him with your eyes! And don't you dare attempt it with your wand. It wouldn't work anyway-I'm assuming it's not just Level E's who cannot be harmed by wizards."

"No, no. Actually, the lower the level the easier to harm."

My lower lip trembles slightly.

"But don't worry! They can be saved from such a horrible fate if the Pureblood that created them gives them some of their blood."

I look up, hopeful.

"Or if they take it." he adds as an afterthought. "And don't worry about your friend glaring at me. It reminds me of Cross Academy."

"Why?" surely that's not a good thing.

"Well, with Zero Kiryu, the grumpy Level D Disciplinary Committee member only temporarily prevented from Level E by callously drinking a sweet, young girl's blood and Lord Kuran, seriously pissed at him for piercing his dear girls skin on the daily. Besides, Lord Kaname has glares which could murder you. Literally. Not that he uses them in that way. And with Sensei Touga, but, although frosty, the atmosphere is not altogether unaccommodating."

"Why does he to refer to her as his dear girl? Especially as you mentioned earlier that she doesn't notice how he cares for her."

Akatsuki shrugs. "Your guess is as good as mine. All I know is that he favours her and her earliest memory is one of her waking up on a hillside to find a Level E attacking her and him killing the vampire and saving her. He's never glared at her. He quite plainly adores her and it annoys one of us, Hannabusa Aido no end. It's just a guess, don't tell anybody but I think he might like her too."

"Okay. So what are the other vampire levels."

"Just before I tell you, you should probably know that this is the most I've spoken in a while-maybe even ever-in a conversation. So it may seem as though I'm fluent in English, I mean, I can even swear in English. Although for some people, the swear words are the first words they learn. Not me though. But I may not know some English words when explaining this. So I'll describe what I'm talking about."

"Okay."

"Level A. The most powerful, hard to destroy vampires. Purebloods. Such as Kaname-sama and his dead family."

"What happened to his family? And what does -sama mean?"

"His parents tragically committed a synchronised suicide leaving almost no trace and there are rumours about him having a dead little sister, but if you ask me, it's a little sketchy and he's the only one to know. I wouldn't advise you ask him, though. It's a very harrowing subject and I may be punished for gossiping."

"He punishes you?"

"Wouldn't you if somebody started telling a stranger about how a tragic affair in your family is a suspicious thing? After all, the stranger may conclude that you are guilty and one thing I know for sure is that he is not guilty of his parents'-nor his probably inexistent sister's deaths."

"How?"

"I just do, he's like that and he'll avoid killing if possible. How can a ruthless psychopath show such tender emotions and care for someone as he cars for Yuki-san? And -sama means Lord or something powerful like that."

"Level B, second most powerful and hard to destroy yet nowhere near as powerful as the Purebloods. The nobility. That's the rest of us except for Yuki and Seiren. Seiren was a human raised to be killed by lord Kaname but he instead saved her and, when she was brought to the brink of death by some unsavoury nobility, turned her into a vampire before allowing her to have some of his blood to rescue her from Level E. She's more of a Level C now. Yuki's human, as you know."

This is transfixing, their society and powers vary. And I'm getting mixed signals about Lord Kuran. On the one hand, he seems caring, but on the other, he seems terrifying, a ruthless figure of authority. Maybe I should try reading body signals, reading between the lines. They all seem respectful of him but rather scared. No, awed, and there's a light in their eyes when they talk to him or, as Akatsuki is doing, about him. I think they like him-or maybe it's his power. I shall have to meet him to find out more-but I must be careful.

"Anyway, onto Level C. Common vampires. Not as powerful but still hold a lot of power and are not easy to destroy. Made vampires can't rise up, even if they drink the blood of their master, but really Lord Kaname has made her seem like a C and almost a B so we treat her like that and forget her past. She's his unofficial bodyguard, he never asked her but she is loyal and will defend him to the death. She only refrained from killing Zero Kiryu when he pointed the bloody rose gun at Kaname's head because he told her not to."

"The rose gun?"

"The bloody rose gun. It's a hunter's weapon. Kiryu's weapon in fact. Both he and Yuki have a weapon, hers is the Artemis scythe and a deal more powerful although harder to strike with and wield then his gun. They're both in her possession now. The Artemis scythe will be somewhere around here only she knows where and the bloody rose will either be stashed about her person somewhere or in her luggage. Most likely in her boot ready to pull out. Kiryu gave her it to kill him with should he get out of control. Personally, I believe he's already a large part lost. But she needs it anyway. After all, there was that time she was attacked by a Level E on the day of Ichijo's birthday party...well he held it at midnight the night after. And there was that time Aido sucked Yuki's blood-I mean, he turned down two other girls' blood for hers so it must be tasty the amount of times she's been attacked in her life by different vampires. Lord Kaname punished him, and slapped him. He does that to Aido a lot. Aido kept going on about the taste and how it was worth the punishment. It wasn't, in my opinion, because I got punished too for not stopping him."

"But that's not fair!"

"No, it is fair. If others hadn't intervened, it may have gotten out of hand, to a point where even I couldn't stop it and she died. Then he'd have killed Aido for sure and there would have been havoc. I don't know why I didn't say something. Or do something. My feet were frozen, I was trying to resist."

"Wow."

"Yeah, she's not a very lucky girl and now she's giving Kiryu her blood every day. It drives us all mad, especially Lord Kaname. We smell the blood and Aido whinges about how it's unfair. It's also illegal. She shouldn't be doing this-it'll only end up hurting her. We started off not really knowing her well enough to like her, but Lord Kaname liked her so we knew she must be decent. He asked us to keep an eye on her and we ended up loving her. Some more than others, I think Aido really does have a full-scale crush on her, whereas we just love her as a friend. She's extremely sweet. Anyway, those are all the levels of vampire."

"That's really fascinating."

He inclines his head in agreement and I bet there's tons more of information, but I have two weeks to hear about it and Dean Thomas is asking me to pass the jam so I do and become caught up in a conversation with Ron about chocolate frog cards.


	8. Can't think of a chapter name

**Me: Yodel-ay, yodel-ay, yodel-ay, ee-hooo!**

 **Devil: Perfect! Make the notes nice and harsh-which shouldn't be difficult because you can't sing let alone yodel.**

 **Me: HEY!**

 **Devil: Don't pretend you didn't already know.**

 **Me: fair enough.**

 **Devil+me: and that's how to break the eardrums of whoever dares tell us we don't own Joe Alwyn, Beyonce, Taylor Swift, Britney Spears, BTS Vampire Knight and Harry Potter!**

 **Me: Just to clarify, the last two were me, the others were ALL him, except for BTS-which is both of us, because who WOULDN'T want them? Please don't arrest me! I'm not illegally selling slaves!**

 **Policeman: TOO LATE!**

 **Me: NOOOOOOO! YODEL-AY, YODEL-AY, YODEL-AY, EEEEEEE, HOOOOOOOOOOO!**

 **Devil: Louder! I think some Martians might not have heard you!**

 **Angel (Whirlpool833): I'm deaf now.**

 **Policeman: SERIOUSLY?! YOU YODEL TOO?! DAMN, I JUST TRANSFERRED FROM MY JOB AS A JAILER BECAUSE OF THAT HULA DANCING CRIMINAL YODELLING! This is really not my day.**

 **Devil: Oh, hi again!**

 **Policeman: AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!**

 **Hater: But it's true, you don't own Vampire Knight OR Harry Potter.**

 **Me: -** ** _screeching-_** **HATERS GONNA HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE, HATE!**

 _ **-2 HOURS LATER-**_

 **Hater: PLEEEEEEEASE! HAVE MERCY! I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!** ** _-sobs-_** **YOU SADISTIC BEAST! YOU BITCH! YOU...YOU!**

 **Me: You call me a bitch like it's a bad thing. Time for some Opera...**

 **Hater:NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Anything but that!**

 **Me: Justin Bieber?**

 **Angel (Whirlpool833): Take the opera, take the opera!**

 **Hater: I'll take the opera. If I die, tell my mum I loved her!**

 **Me: If I survive, I'll tell my mum we had a rocky relationship! Then offer to perform a song to her!**

 **Hater: I feel sorry for her.**

 **Me: Do you now? Cos after your torture-I mean, entertainment-I need to warm up my vocal chords for that, I'd be happy to let you listen...**

 **Hater: -** ** _faints-_**

 **Me: Job done.**

 **Voldemort: Hey, you! Wanna join the death eaters?**

 **Me: And risk losing my life? Or worse-my NOSE?! Piss off, sausage face.**

 **Angel (Whirlpool833): You know, I'm just gonna leave now, you know, give some exorcists the location of some places to perform exorcisms, play my heart and sing like a saint-no, a country singer! Like Taylor Swift, generally be angelic and stay WELL AWAY from this psycho maniac. Maybe if she starts writing chapter 8, she won't be so bad. But if I'm asked to deal with her, I'm quitting my job. Hell has NEVER looked so inviting!**

Ginny's PoV

We gather in the library and I catch a glimpse of Yuki chatting animatedly to the orange haired girl-her hair's even brighter than mine and her bunches exaggerate the colour-who's crunching on a chocolate-coated biscuit stick.

"Alright, can we have quiet please." Professor McGonagalls question is more of an instruction.

The exchange students are immediately silent-even Yuki, they turn and face Professor McGonagall and Professor Sprout with an intense respect which almost burns. It's nowhere near as big as the respect they give Lord Kaname, but still it shocks everyone. Even Lord Kuran is focussing intently on the small stage they've set up. It's spooky.

Professor Sprout appears deeply shaken by this attention coming from the Japanese pupils. Even Professor McGonagall doesn't seem completely stable about it and, if I'm honest, it's weirded me out too. In fact, I think it's weirded us all out, there's a slight stunned silence which just shows how badly behaved we are.

"We're going to partner up exchanges and then we've made a short presentation about what will happen here at Hogwarts. I believe you have made a presentation too, Mr Toga?" Professor Sprout hastily recovers her welcoming smile.

All eyes turn to the one-eyed teacher who's fiddling with what looks like...a gun?! He hastily slides it into his belt and looks up to meet Professor McGonagall's steely gaze.

"I'm not a babysitter." he says in a gruff voice before turning to Yuki. "You have it?"

She nods complete with a smile. "Yes, Sensei Toga, because I was already wide awake from the shifts, I just stayed up again and worked on it and the others looked over it after me. I believe it was in Rima's possession last?"

All night! Poor girl, no wonder she looks so tired. The way she so casually said "again", her staying up must be a regular occurrence! I knew that they were good at English, especially Yuki-she's my best friend! But the way she used the word "possession" makes me realise just how skilled they all are at our language.

"Hai, watashi wa sore o motte imasu." **(A/N: "Yes, I have it"-by the way, this might not be one hundred percent accurate because I don't know Japanese so I'm using google translate which we all know isn't the most reliable)**

The orange-bunches girl twists a finger into her left bunch, before adding in English, a cheerful: "Here it is!" she waves a hard drive in the air and hands it to the teacher.

"Don't give it to me, I'm not near the computer."

"Here. I'll take it." All eyes turn to the guy Hermione was chatting so avidly with at Breakfast.

"Akatsuki." the teacher nods.

He passes it to Yuki who walks over to 'Akatsuki', assuming that's not just Japanese for okay, "Here Kain, you know how to put it in the computer right?"

He looks at her as if she's crazy which-given her video for Gasoline-is completely possible.

"We live in the 21st century. I may be a vampire, but that doesn't mean I'm a 17th century moron wearing a black cape with a disfigured mouth and rubbish, cheesy Transylvanian accent who thinks a computer is Satan's gift for him, in other words a mystifying yet wonderful concept." His sarcasm rolls easily off his tongue and Yuki looks unimpressed.

"You're related to Aido. There's a high possibility that you have less brain cells than the average human being-let alone vampire."

"Oooooh. Burn!" We chorus.

"Who's Aido?" Hannah Abbott questions, curious.

"My cousin. Flirtatious, pompous, arrogant-did I mention flirtatious, loves his fan girls, either seriously ADORES Yuki, or he's just SUPER strange. Which is true. He annoys her quite and bit-he annoys all of us. Although I believe Rima stole some of his pocky to get him back."

The orange-bunches girl sighed. "No." she pouts, "He didn't have any so I stole Senri's. We have yet to introduce him to the WONDERFUL world of leaving things in obvious hiding places in his bedroom-although did you know that he owns a glittery, pink barbie doll?"

"You mean he stole it AGAIN?!" the blonde boy yells, "I told him not to take my action figures!"

All attention swivels to him.

"It's yours, Ichijo?" Yuki gasps.

"Wait...what colour hair?"

"Blonde." Rima replies immediately.

Ichijo scoffs, "I knew it! He hasn't found my new hiding place, he's just gone and bought himself a cheap knockoff! We all know that the better action figures are brunettes. As they say-brunettes do it better!"

"Actually, most people believe that blondes have more fun." that Kain guy interjects.

"Well at least brunettes remember it in the morning." is Yuki's quick attack.

"OOOOOOH!" The other exchange students join in with us this time.

"Would you like some ice with that burn?" Hermione asks, deceptively sweet.

"Yeah, cos he got burned and ice is cold." Malfoy sniggers.

"Finally! Did you just get back from learning your ABC's? Yeah, that's right, they're NOT ABD's. Maybe you should go back and try again." I fire at him.

"I think he's the one needing the ice now, not Akatsuki. Too bad Aido's not with us." The exchanges crack up.

"Hannabusa Aido has ice powers." she explains through the laughter. "Now, we should probably wrap up this major burn sesh and get on with our presentations unless we want to be super late to our next lesson-no idea what it is though and that Umbridge woman is freaking me out so if it's Defence Against the Dark Arts, let the burns LIVE ON!" she cries dramatically, causing tears of laughter from some of us.

"It's not." I choke out.

"Okay then. Kain, wanna go set it up, since you're so good with modern technology and don't think computers are...what was it again? Satan's gift for you, a mystifying yet wonderful concept."

Kain blushes a deep crimson. "Umm...I've forgotten how to do it." he admits sheepishly. A priceless expression on his face.

"Akatsuki-san, that just makes my burn even better! You'd better hope that Aido can send ice over the phone because hell do you need it! I'll do it." She takes the hard drive and walks up to the stage.  
"Excuse me, but whom should I give this to, or, if nobody, where should I put this?"

Professor McGonagall has recovered from her initial shock at the avid attention and is now shaking off the amused bewilderment of the burns.

"Over there, in that computer."

"Thank you, sensei." she bows her head slightly before hurrying over and fiddling with the electronic device. McGonagall surprisingly doesn't mention the burns and actually seems to like Yuki. The exchange/student presentations go well and I can't wait for our next period-we've got a whole day of bonding with our exchanges with magic, a picnic and some other "fun" things. This'll be awesome...


	9. flesh-eating slugs and stolen shade

**Angel (Whirlpool833): HALLELUJAH! HAAAAAAAAAALLELUJAH!**

 **Divine Spirit Guy: Word has come from above!**

 **Angel: You mean the greatest of us all?**

 **DSG: Yes!**

 **Angel: YAY! Taylor Swift replied to my fan mail!**

 **DSG: What?! NO! She's too busy being a petty bitch.**

 **Hater: Shouldn't have said that mate. I'm still hearing her voice.**

 **DSG: What?**

 **Me: NOW!**

 _ **-Angel and I jump onto his back and beat him up.-**_

 **Angel and I: NEVER INSULT TAYLOR SWIFT!**

 **Me: It's as bad as telling me I don't own Vampire Knight-I don't care how true it is!**

 **Hater: So you admit it?**

 **Me: Shut the fuck up.**

 **Hater: -** ** _shuts the fuck up-_**

 **Devil: As for you, Divine Spirit Guy, just be glad you didn't insult BTS...**

 **DSG: Actually, the word from above was that BTS are losers and I completely agree.**

 **Angel, Devil and I: KILL HIM! AAAAATTTACK! -** ** _begin to attack him-_**

 **Hater: Readers, for your sake, I'd advise you not to insult Taylor Swift or BTS and just pretend that Awesomewriter177 owns Vampire Knight. All three of them seem dangerously unhinged!**

 **Angel: We heard that!**

 **Devil: We're not deaf!**

 **Me: And we completely agree.**

 **Angel, Devil and I: WE'RE MAD!**

Yuki's PoV

The presentations go fine and Ruka manages to subtly tease Ichijo throughout the entire meeting about his Barbie dolls or, as he called them, "Manly action figures." that was when I stepped in and said, "Manly? How? So your parents won't let you buy a sex robot, you aren't getting laid and you decided to buy a barbie to satisfy your inner porn fiend?" and he fainted.

He woke up towards the end, a terrified expression on his face.

"Why did you faint?" Ruka quizzes.

"Because I had a flashback to my mum finding playboy magazines under my bed." his face is the definition of horrified and we stifle our almost uncontrollable laughter.

"This period is now over, if you'll please head outside, we'll pair everybody up so you all have your exchange and can begin today's activities." The strict woman, I believe her name is Professor McGonagoll?, leaves the room, we're left with the rather plump, roundish one with her curly, grey hair and jolly expression.

"Hello, my name is Professor Sprout, I teach herbology at Hogwarts and I'm in charge of the exchange, please form a line and follow me in an orderly fashion-both Hogwarts students and Cross Academy students."

The Night Class students dawdle around, not really listening to her.

"You heard the woman. Listen to Professor Sprout. Consider her word as mine." Kaname says, calm and collected. Immediately, they jump into a perfect queue, me first and we follow the bustling woman outside.

"Okay, please stand in two lines, facing each other. Hogwarts students this side and Cross Academy students this side."

We immediately part and the split in the middle grows wider as we form our lines. I find myself directly opposite that Malfoy kid, the one who proposed earlier. He mouths "I love you." and happily leans forward, studying my face and committing it to memory. This guy is weird and creepy.

"Miss Seiren?" Seiren steps forward, face emotionless.

"Yes, sensei Sprout?"

The large woman smiles accommodatingly, "I believe you were sorted into Ravenclaw?"

"That would be correct." she agrees, maintaining her poker face. Have I ever seen Seiren smile? Probably not...Wow, she's one SERIOUS girl.

"Well, your exchange is a Hufflepuff, but no need to worry because all exchanges and Hogwarts students participating in the exchange. Hannah Abbott?"

A pretty, sweet-faced girl with several pale freckles and neat, blonde hair steps forward.

"You two are a pair. Please wait over there and Miss Seiren?"

"Yes Sensei?"

"You must please wear this to show your house, Ravenclaw is blue, Gryffindor is red, Slytherin is green and Hufflepuff, my own house, is yellow." she holds out her hand and there, sparkling in her palm, is a beautiful pin. It's made of four royal blue stones of equal size and shape lined up in a straight line. Plain and simple yet it adds something so classic to her uniform.

"Rima Toya." Rima carries her parasol over to the woman, her signature slightly bored expression seated on her face.

"Another Ravenclaw. Let me see...it's here somewhere! They were made specially for each of you."

She pulls a small, lilac envelope out and neatly tears it open in a straight line. She pulls out a small card and a brooch which she hands to Rima-san. It's made of lots of tiny blue gems, slightly darker than Seirens and shaped like a circle, filled in with gems. Again, plain yet simply stunning.

"Ginny Weasley?"

Ginny walks forward.

"You two are paired up."

"Awesome." Ginny's enthusiastic reply is met with a slight, tiny, almost-invisible smile from Ruka. It's almost imperceptible, but a smile nonetheless.

They walk over to the corner and the Professor and turns to look at the blonde boy.

"Draco, please put that lovers violet back in the greenhouse. It's highly unlikely for the spell to last if it works since you are flunking herbology. She's not going to marry you. She doesn't even know you."

He flushes and pulls a small flower pot from his robes, walking dejectedly over to a large glass greenhouse. Weird.

"Akatsuki Kain?"

Kain walks forward, one hand in his pocket, one hand shielding his eyes from the unforgiving sun. He forgot to bring a parasol. Or maybe he thought it didn't look cool...his skin's going a little pink. Not that noticeable, but he'd better watch out!

"Both you and your exchange are Gryffindors, I understand. Here's your badge." she pulls out another envelope, this one a pale yellow and opens it, drawing out a large chunk of a red gem. Not ornate or intricately patterned, it looks quite cool and suits him.

"Hermione Granger." a bushy-haired brunette with intelligent eyes walks over.

"Hello again."

He nods and...smiles? Damn, he barely ever smiles! And I barely ever swear...I just thought damn. This is shocking.

They too join Seiren-san, Rima-san, Ginny-san and...was it Hannah? Yes, Hannah-san.

"Lord Kaname Kuran." I can practically hear a fanfare the way she says it.

He walks up to her, somehow managing to not look stupid holding a parasol, and, in his amazing, suave manner, requests, "Please, have everybody call me Kaname-san, or just Kaname. I don't even mind Kuran, but there's really need to call me "lord" or "kaname-sama"."

Professor Sprout nods with as much respect as she can possibly muster, "Well, we'll try but we've already requested everybody refer to you with your correct status-not that anything else is incorrect if you want to be known in that way." she hastily adds, trying to avoid directly contradicting him.

He lets a brief smile flicker across his mouth. "I appreciate the effort."

"R-ravenclaw." she stammers and he inclines his head slightly for the shortest of moments.

She fishes around in her bag and pulls out a white envelop with some black writing scrawled on the front. I can't read it because I only see it for a second. Professor Sprout pulls out a brooch made of beautiful amethysts. It's shaped in an intricate way, like a spider's web.

He accepts it and attaches it to his lapel.

"Dean Thomas." she calls out, still slightly shaky. A fresh-faced boy with dark skin and a cheeky smile saunters to the front.

"Hello." he smiles, pulling one of his hands out of his pockets in a quick wave.

"Hello." Kaname replies. They walk over to the corner and we can quite audibly here Dean asking Kaname-sama, "So what's it like being a vampire?"

"Takuma Ichijo" a slightly red-faced Ichijo stumbles over towards the Professor, still recovering from his barbie-I mean, action figure-mortification and not quite managing to style out the pink parasol-I guess he borrowed one of Rima's again. He can definitely rock his own black ones, but pink? Not so much.

"Hufflepuff, I believe. My very own house!" she beams with pride, handing him a brooch which is made of yellow stones and looks like the sun. It's nice and it reflects the light.

"Draco Malfoy." the blonde boy who caused a scene earlier by proposing to me smirks arrogantly and saunters over, he looks Ichijo up and down, clearly judging him and wrinkles his nose slightly.

"Can't I have her?"

He gestures towards me.

"She already has a partner."

"Outrageous-my father will hear about this!"

"Okay listen Malfoy, we know you're short of money so my brothers are paying you to endorse their extendable ears, but this is getting ridiculous. We get it! You can hear stuff with them."

Malfoy reddens considerably, "Nobody asked your opinion."

"No, but she voiced what everyone was thinking." Kaname's exchange chimes in.

Malfoy brandishes his stick thingy-oh, a wand! And mutters something, pointing it at Dean who ducks. The jet of light instead goes flying straight at Kaname's face and bounces off an invisible force, about an inch away from him. The energy disintegrates into nothingness and Malfoy drops his wand, openmouthed. Lord Kaname doesn't even flinch.

Seiren-san does though! She springs forward with the speed and agility of a ninja and the other students form a wall around Kaname. She grabs him by the throat and pins him to the ground choking him.

"Seiren-san." she freezes immediately and twists her head to face Kaname-sama. She doesn't release her grip on the blonde-haired offender and he writhes beneath her, struggling to free himself.

"Let him go. It was an accident. No harm done. He didn't mean to hit me and it was a bout of temper. A foolish and reckless act, but not one intended to cause serious harm."

Seiren hesitates for a millisecond before climbing off him and shooting him a death glare as do the other Night Class students.

She walks back to besides Hannah-san, facial expression neutral, blank even.

"I apologise." she states mechanically with no hint of regret.

"There is no need to take defensive positions. It is clear that no magic can hurt vampires and, since I am a pureblood, I'd say that you're at a much higher risk of injury. I'd rather none of you got hurt." For some reason, as he says this, his eyes leave the people he's addressing and linger on me for a few seconds before he turns his gaze to the shocked Draco.

"My father'll-"

"The more you say that, the more people will mock you for it. Learn to stand on your own two feet, because relying on your father won't help you gain respect."

Kaname takes a step forward and retrieves the wand Malfoy dropped. He holds it out.

"Just remember, sometimes social status and popularity are a lot more powerful than raw weaponry." he turns and walks back to the others leaving the boy speechless and gulping like a goldfish out of water.

Professor Sprout clears her throat. "And finally, Yuki Cross, Ravenclaw." I walk forward,

"Yes, that'd be me." there's an awed silence from the Hogwarts bunch until Ginny snorts.

"You guys are all staring at her in wonder and then there's Malfoy undressing her with his eyes."

"Look out!" Luna suddenly cries as there is a cracking noise. I look up and my eyes widen at the sight of a huge tree branch, hurtling towards me. It's close. It stops a couple of centimetres away from me and I stare at it, cowed. It begins to move away, towards the others except for Luna and I and I realise that Kaname is gazing intently at it. Pureblood telekinesis. He's just saved my life once again.

"Th-thank you kaname-sama."

He deposits the branch on the ground, still without physical contact and then turns to face me, eyes penetrating my soul.

"No problem, Yuki. Please, I've told you before, just call me Kaname or Kaname-san."

"O-okay. Thank you Kaname."

His mouth twists into that slight smile he tends to give me which warms my heart and gives me butterflies in my stomach.

"Oh dear, oh dear! That shouldn't be doing that! I'm terribly sorry."

"No, it's fine, it wasn't your fault." I try to look reassuring.

"But it is! But it is! We checked them all before-why did it fall now?"

"Would it be anything to do with that huge slug oozing a slime all over where the branch snapped-good lord that thing is HUGE!" Ichijo suggests, looking slightly anxious about it. I look up and shudder it's a giant, slimy creature which closely resembles an enlarged garden slug. I find myself taking a couple of steps back.

She gasps, "A flesh-eating slug! How did it get there? I checked every plant and they're too huge to hide!" she pulls out her wand.

"Pestis Vanisio" the disgusting creature bursts, covering the tree in a translucent, grey-ish slime which shimmers for a moment and disappears.

"My apologies, that was a terrible thing to happen."

"No, no, it's fine, it was an accident."

"Okay, here's your badge, Yuki Cross." she hands me a beautiful badge made of tiny, purple crystals, varying in shade. It's shaped like a heart and ombre so that the middle is pale and the outline is dark. It's stunning.

"Wow." I say, quietly stunned. "Thank you."

"Luna Lovegood?" Luna steps forward,

"Hi again, Yuki." she smiles, "Now, have you ever heard of shinigami?"

"You mean Japanese gods of death?"

She nods, beaming.

"Maybe... but I can't tell you!" I tap the side of my nose

"Oh, so they work in secret like nargles do. I suppose that they could simply kill or maim anybody they wanted as well as wiping their memories. Have you ever read the manga 'Death Note'? **(A/N: Possibly the best manga/anime ever!)** That's where I heard about them, then I did a little research. I must say, Light was extremely stupid for a genius."

"I agree." I grin, "I've just finished volume 5 so I'll be starting volume six soon. I can't believe that they both forgot about being Kira! I hope they remember, I want Ryuk to come back-do you remember the withdrawal symptoms from apples?"

She laughs, "I twist my body up like a pretzel and do handstands" she quotes, "Yes, I remember. Misa Misa is so kawaii!"

"I know right! But those 8 company guys who Rem gives the book to are really annoying."

"Yeah!" I agree. "I hope he writes their names down in the book-well, the bad ones anyway, there's that one who wants to leave but can't because if they leave they get killed. Unless he's the one with the book...I wish Rem would just kill them all because Amane-san is out of prison and can't remember being the second Kira."

"I won't spoil anything." she smiles dreamily, "I'm so glad _someone_ has read it. Nobody here has-I've asked _everyone."_

I giggle and we look up to find everyone staring at us, faces blank and confused.

"I want to read Death Note-is it good?" Ichijo enquires.

"It is FANTASTIC!" I reply.

"Okay..."

We stand in the midst of the group and Ginny nudges me, "I have no idea about anything you two just said." We burst out laughing.

"Okay, so the first activity is a potions face off which Professor Snape will be taking. Because everyone can make a potion, magic or not, we'll assign each pair a type of potion and give you both instructions. Then, Professor Snape will watch over you to prevent any injury. Both students will make the potion separately, one on each side and then, once the time's up, you'll take a bottle of your potion and try it out on your partner. The winner of the pair is the one who's potion is the most successful. The winner gets one point. If you draw, you both get a point unless you both fail miserably in which case neither of you get a point. At the end of the day, there are prizes awarded. We'll just wait for Professor Snape to arrive and then you may begin. I've got to go now and teach a class, but I'll be in that greenhouse over there so Malfoy, don't try to steal any more lovers violets."

The bushy haired girl, Hermione-san, silently cracks up and both Ginny and Rima are shaking with suppressed laughter. I smirk slightly at the memory of his face when he realised he'd been caught.

"Alright then, I'll trust you to behave. There are one, two, three prefects amongst you and I shall be watching so be good, Hogwarts students, I'm talking to you."

They grumble slightly, "Yes Professor" a few of them sigh as she leaves them for the greenhouse.

We wait for a while and Kain tries to squeeze under Kaname's parasol. Kaname-sama looks distinctly unimpressed and his expression is classic. If only I had my phone, wait-I do! But we're probably not allowed it and it's Kaname...now if Aido were here and looking particularly photo-worthy, I wouldn't hesitate! But, as its Kaname-sama. I won't.

"Akatsuki-san, get your own parasol." he says delicately and Kain pouts, visibly deflating.

"I forgot to bring one..." he trails off as Kaname's looks at him with a look that says, _how fucking stupid do you have to be Kain? I thought you were clever, you're one of my right hand men, maybe next time, we'll bring Aido instead._

"Sorry?" he offers a limp apology with a weak smile and a shrug. Kaname-sama rolls his eyes.

"Here, you can borrow these." he hands him a pair of sunglasses which Kain slips gratefully on. They look okay and he stops trying to steal Kaname-sama's shade. Lord Kaname looks relieved.


	10. Potion's face-off

**HI, I'M REALLY SORRY IT TOOK AGES TO POST THIS, BUT I WROTE A REALLY LONG CHAPTER BUT MY COMPUTER DIED AND DELETED IT. :(**

 **SNKlife(devil): I'm still really confused about why you had a knife-WHO DAFUQ CARRIES A KNIFE?!**

 **Awesomewriter177: I have two older sisters. I do what I have to do to SURVIVE! Also, we need to kill that Divine Spirit Guy.**

 **Whirlpool833(angel): So THATS why you asked me to bring a taser!**

 **Awesomewriter177: What? No! That's to stun anybody who badmouths BTS, nightcore, anime, manga, kaname kuran or Taylor swift. Obviously.**

 **SNKlife(devil): Like, duh! Stun guns don't kill so we wouldn't bring that along! We plan to stun them and leave them for the rest of the fandom to deal with. It won't be pretty. We tried it out 3 minutes ago on a boy called "Ermen" who hated on BTS and Death Note.**

 **Awesomewriter177: An unforgivable sin. -** ** _phone pings-_** **OHHHH! #Ermenisoverparty is already trending on twitter!**

 **Whirlpool833 (angel): Remind me never to insult anybody you guys-or the fandom-love.**

 **Ermen(wearing torn up rags which used to be designer clothes, covered in blood and mud with matted hair): Since I'm going to die anyway, I must say just one thing-Awesomewriter177 doesn't own Vampire Knight or Harry Potter. -** ** _laughs madly-_** **And just to add insult to injury, neither do SNKlife and Whirlpool. Mua ha ha ha!**

 **Angel and devil: SCREW YOU!**

 **Me -** ** _on phone-_** **:Yes, he's here.**

 **-** ** _1 second later-_**

 **Fandom -** ** _waving pitchforks and torches-_** **: THERE HE IS! GETTTT HIMMMMMMMMMMMM!**

 **Bloodthirsty fangirl at front: Thanks for the tip off '177.**

 **Me: Glad to be of service! YOU BETTER RUN ERMEN! YOU'RE SO DEAD!**

 **Me (again): Now, where were we? Oh yes, plotting DSG's demise. MUA HA HA HA HA!**

 **Devil: she's more suited to my job than I am!**

Snape's PoV

I stand in front of the exchange students from Hogwarts and Cross Academy.

"Any questions?" I ask, I've just finished explaining the rules and I'm expecting a bombardment of stupid questions from everyone in the group-except for Granger.

Surprisingly, nobody raises their hands...

"I will now assign pairs their potions:

Ms Weasley and Ms Toya: Pepperup potion." I conjure up two rows of cauldrons et cetera for making the potions and a large table in between the rows. I flick my wrist and their two scrolls with recipes appear and fly into their hands. The Toya girl seems mildly surprised, but she simply bows slightly. "Thank you, _sensei."_

"Mr Thomas and Lord Kuran: Draught of peace." The lord graciously accepts his instructions and Dean Thomas just scurries off to a cauldron.

"Mr Malfoy and Mr Ichijo: Veritaserum." Draco mutters something about being paired with an imbecile when I announce this, as their scrolls fly into their hands, however, Ichijo ignores this and smiles with a quick word of gratitude.

"Miss Granger." My lip curls as I say her name-she's an insufferable know-it-all, but I don't really mind that-in truth, it's comforting to know that _somebody_ enjoys my classes. But my lip curled because she reminds me of her little friend. Potter. Who reminds me of his bastard of a father-he didn't deserve Lily! I did! But Lily loved him and now I'm left to think bitter thoughts about James. James the bullying, girl-stealing, arrogant bastard. James who I hate and have always hated-I won't hesitate to speak ill of the dead.

I clear these thoughts from my head. "And Mr Kain: shrinking solution."

"Miss Seiren and Miss Abbott: forgetfulness potion. Miss Seiren,"

"Miss Cross and Miss Lovegood: Girding potion. A note to all of you non-wizards, as a wand is required for the potions, we have decided to add to all of your recipes specifically a pinch of powdered gicae serum which can be used in place of a wand."

I wave my hand and lots of ingredients appear on the large table in the middle. I conjure up a table in front of me and tap it lightly with my wand. "Timeus Mimeus." **(A/N: Crappy spell I know)** My personal favourite spell was discovered by William McFlyPanties last year in April and creates an egg timer decorated to look like the stereotypical French mime with stripes, a necktie and a beret! Instead of sand, lots of tiny mimes trapped in invisible boxes fall. It was declared silly and frivolous, but it is still quite entertaining.

"You have 2 minutes to collect your ingredients. Starting...NOW!"

I tap the hourglass and watch the mimes tumble hilariously into the bottom section, making the most absurd facial expressions. How amusing...

Yuki's PoV

The 'Girding Potion' looks simple enough and there are little illustrations showing me what the ingredients look like. I dash for the table and begin to scoop up fairy wings, 'doxy' eggs-I wonder what a doxy is-toasted dragonfly thoraxes which make me shudder-luckily they're neatly stored in a labelled glass jar so I don't have to touch them...Yet and finally flying seahorses which are stored in a large, shuddering box.

 _1) Add one set of fairy wings._

I drop the fairy wings into my cauldron. The instruction set looks a bit like a recipe and believe me am I used to using recipes! Sometimes, Zero and I simply _have_ to avoid Headmaster-I mean Dad's 'my style' cooking for safety purposes.

 _2) Heat until the potion turns turquoise_

I watch, entranced, as the clear, silvery-tinted liquid began to melt into an opaque, bubbling turquoise.

 _3) Add one measure of doxy eggs._

Whilst the potion is still changing colour, I prepare this-I need to be precisely in time.

Okay... I pour them in and watch the potion hiss slightly, a purple tinge colouring it.

 _4) heat until the potion becomes pink_

Soon enough it has turned a beautiful blush colour.

 _5) Add the toasted dragonfly thoraxes until the mixture turns red._

I cautiously take one in my hands-it's a bit hairy which creeps me out and I drop it as soon as possible into the cauldron, noting how much the colour changes. After adding three more, the colour has darkened almost to red, but not quite. There isn't enough of the toasted dragonfly thorax in there, but if I add one more, it'll be too much...I decide to snap one in half-it's a bit like snapping a wheetabix, I imagine. An English cereal I saw somebody eating earlier. I don't recall their name, but they did tell me what it was.

Perfect! Crimson just like...blood. The thought chills me slightly, but I clear my mind and go onto the next step.

Through the next few steps, the potion goes from red to blue to silver to blue again. I stick my finger into the vibrating box and grab three flying seahorses, adding them last of all. Finally, a quick sprinkling of the 'gicae serum'. My potion turns a beautiful, leaf green. Just like the instructions said it would. I look around.

Rima-san is sweating profusely, her pepperup potion emitting a thick, choking, maroon smoke. It's almost to dense to be called a vapour-or even a smog!

Kain-san is biting his lip and nervously bending over a belching brown liquid as thick as sludge whilst opposite him, Hermione-san I think her name was, looks perfectly calm, stirring her own acid-green potion in a tranquil manner. Only she and I seem okay, the others all look at least mildly stressed. Except for Luna who's gazing dreamily off into the reflection of her eyes in her potion-she's still on stage 7 clearly because it's a shimmering silver. Kaname-sama looks as if he's trying to appear serene, but his frequent anxious glances at his suspiciously smoking cauldron show otherwise.

Hermione's PoV

I add the leech juice, using precisely the correct amount and take the shrivel fig, dropping it in until the potion is a darkish rose. Finally, I scrape in the chopped caterpillar and glance around as it simmers, becoming a bright, plant-like green. Yuki Cross, Luna's exchange and Ginny's friend is already filling a vial of her girding potion which, to my surprise, is the perfect fern colour and smooth consistency. She places her vial down and glances up, catching my eye and shooting me a quick smile. I need to get to know her, because something tells me she's hiding a secret, something maybe even she doesn't know. Besides-she seems nice enough, but I don't really _know_ her. There's something about her which makes her so...so...I can't describe what it is. But everybody loves her. Even Professor Snape smiled slightly as he assigned her potion. She's calm and surprisingly talented at potions and she has a sort of aura around her which clouds your mind and...I've lost my train of thought just thinking about it! One thing's for sure though, she's not an ordinary girl...

I jump slightly as a bubble at the surface of my potion bursts-it's close to burning! I mustn't let it overheat! Quickly, I bottle some into a sample flask and vanish the remains. My potion was almost ruined, but it still looks decent-I can do better though. Sadly, my exchange Atsuki-no, A _KAT_ suki's potion is a slimy, cement-like consistency and a foul, muddy colour. He looks bemused but also frantic to correct his mistakes. That'll be hard.

Ichijo's PoV

Dammit! This is NOT going well. It definitely shouldn't be solid and black oozing yellow pus from it's centre. I messed up bad. I fiddle with one of the bottles. Oh dear. Whoopsie! Looks like instead of powdered moonstone, I added African Sea salt... I lean over it and gently prod its centre with my stirring rod. It lets out a gush of green pus-like liquid which instantly solidifies into more black. Then it stops altogether, a solid, black mass and I peer closely at it.

"BANG!" The contents of my cauldron explode and I'm left with a sooty, blackened face, hair standing on end and eyelashes burnt to crisp white curls coated in ash. Ouch, that burns.

Everyone looks up, shocked.

I glance down, sheepish and my eyes widen. There, in the middle of my cauldron is a little pile of gleaming gold. The sensei strides over, then he takes a peek at my heap of shining metal and his eyes widen.

"The gold-seeker elixir." **(A/N: Yet another crappy name. Sorry.)**

He looks incredibly impressed. "Discovered by a witch named Hildegard Ruffleblack in the 16th century. The recipe was lost forever back in the 1800s. You've recreated it perfectly! He's almost trembling with concealed excitement.

"Impressive. You'll have to go to the headmaster."

He turns to the Hogwarts students.

"Ms Granger. You've finished." Kain-san's exchange glances up,"Y-yes?"

"Take Mr Ichijo to the headmaster. He has surpassed himself." I find myself subject to a few awed stares as she nods and steps forward, leading me towards the towering castle.

Rima's PoV

UUUUUURGH! Just cos he messed up! Takuma-san gets lucky. Mine's starting to spit sparks, let's hope mine turns into some sort of diamond-pressure mixture. Tragically, it probably won't which is shitty-like my life.

Seiren's PoV

I'm still on step 3 because I spent a while watching those around Kaname-sama, especially that Malfoy boy-I don't trust him. I won't let anybody hurt Kaname-sama or Yuki, since he asked us all to look after her. I'll do my duty.

I sigh and add my second Valerian Sprig to the simmering cauldron before stirring three times, clockwise. I won't lie, this is kind of soothing, but I've no doubt that I'm doing it wrong. I keep my poker face on-I guess not concentrating is a bad thing-I'd better focus for the rest of this in case mine blows up like Takuma-sans. Mine most likely won't turn into gold so I won't risk it.

Instead, I refer to the instructions and scatter in some gicae powder. I pop in an alarm clock to speed up the brewing time and look up, letting my gaze linger on Yuki-san who's just finished bottling a sample flask of her concoction and seems satisfied. Unlike the rest of us.

What's _with_ that girl? It's strange that Kaname-sama likes a random human girl, of course, but even if you took that away, I'd still be curious. There's just something about her which isn't right...a buried secret embedded deep in her soul...the darkest, forgotten corner of her mind...I feel philosophical when I think about it. One thing's for sure, she's different. Different from Kiryu, level E-well, he soon will be, different from Kaname-sama-yet she seems to have this immense power of magnetism. Everyone loves her and finds themselves wanting just to be near her-even me! Different from the nobility vampires and even Level C. She's definitely not a mundane human and as for a wizard or witch? No way. She's something so different and so overwhelmingly...special. I need to find out more. It's not an urge, a desire or a craving for knowledge, I physically _need_ to find out, it's really bugging me-Yuki is not a normal girl.

Kaname's PoV

My exchange, Dean-san, seems nice and reasonably lively-I'm sure that if he has a conversation with Yuki-chan, he'll immediately love her! She's so sweet and amazing, I love her so much. I glance nervously at my smoking, blue concoction and then refer back to the-accidentally neglected-instruction scroll.

 _14) Add more powdered moonstone until the potion turns grey._

I fiddle about with the bottle and add some, I almost add powdered unicorn horn, but I stop myself just in time-damn, I'm terrible at this and I hate it. It's like being trapped in a game of chess, destined to lose. Neither player will settle for stalemate so one has trapped the other in a situation beyond the victim's control. I am the victim to this impossible form of wizardry. I glance upwards at Yuki-chan.

What the hell?! How is she done already? And she looks pleased-hers looks actually okay. Fuck it. I'm a failure and she's a success, I'm probably really embarrassing myself in front of her excellence-I'd better step up my game.

Okay, the potions begins to shimmer and becomes a metallic gold. I smile, perfect, and allow it to simmer until it becomes yellow...wait. It was supposed to turn silver than orange, I didn't put in enough moonstone! I reach for the container and accidentally spill a LOT into my cauldron. Fuck. It's a deep reddy-orange. Okay, orange is good, right? I take a deep, calming breath and try to picture Yuki-chan's face in my mind. I feel my muscles relax, the knot in my lower back unwinds and I sink back, putting my weight back evenly on my entire foot, emphasising the weight on the heel by a tiny, almost-unnoticeable amount. Yuki-chan is so amazing, just thinking about her helps me become happier, calmer and completely in control. Porcupine quills, stirring, simmering and syrup of hellebore. Finished!

Surprisingly, I didn't fail as catastrophically as I expected and instead of a peaceful white, I have an angrily bubbling, yellowish-ivory liquid. Not too far from what it's supposed to be. Still not right. Whoever or, indeed, whomever discovered or invented potions deserves to rot in hell for all eternity. I'm serious. Satan's subject.

 **Sooooooo...what did you guys think? Next chapter I'm going back to Cross Academy where Zero is almost alone and extremely pissed that Kaname-sama got past him and persuaded Yuki to go to England. He's furious and, to top it all off, the blood tablets still aren't working! Will he intervene and fly to England? How will Yuki react? Seriously, she'll probably be all kind and sweet, HOW IS SHE LIKE THIS?! If it was me, I'd let rip, I have a great vocabulary range. Some really colourful language and, hey, a little bit of kicking and punching goes a long, long, LONG, way.**

 **PLEASE REVIEW! I'M BEGGING YOU! PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE! SAVE ME FROM UNPOPULARITY-oh wait, I'm already not popular...-** ** _whistles softly-_** **well, bye guys...Again, really sorry this chapter took ages!**


	11. Bitter Zero

**Me: So, in this chapter, Zero's being a bitter bastard about Yuki's "Kaname-senpai", get over it Zero and fuck off so that I can blow stuff up at Hogwarts. I might involve Seamus Finnigan, I seem to remember how skilled he is at explosions...**

 **Ryuk: Hyuk, hyuk.**

 **Angel (Whirlpool833): You're creepy, you know that right?**

 **Ryuk: Yep. Hyuk, hyuk.**

 **Angel: Actually I was talking to (my name)**

 **Me: Yep. -** ** _evil laugh-_**

 **Angel: Well, I for one am glad that you don't own Vampire Knight or Harry Potter-that'd be chaotic.**

 **Harry: Someone mention me?**

 **Me: No. Go away. -** ** _reaches into school bag-_** **Now, where were we.**

 **Devil (SNKlife)-** ** _out of breath-_** **: WHIRLPOOL! I need to warn you something! Don't insult Awesomewriter177, she's crazy and psychotic-she has a knife in her school bag.**

 **Me: Only because of my evil sisters.**

 **Sisters: Hey! We aren't evil.**

 **Me: Piss off.**

 **Sisters: Tut tut, bad language, I'm telling mum!**

 **Me: NOOOOOO!** ** _-takes knife out-_** **I'm not going down without a fight!**

 **Devil: I'm just gonna go...**

 **Ryuk and Angel: Good idea...**

 _Meanwhile, back at Cross Academy..._

Zero's PoV

I shudder as I try to gulp the blood tablet mix down without it all coming back up. I shudder and my body convulses. I dry heave and stagger to the bathroom, gripping onto my wardrobe, the walls, the towel rail and basically everything I can to stand up. I keep retching, I can feel the hot, vile liquid mixture slipping upwards towards my mouth and tears prick at my eyelids, stinging painfully. I reach the bathroom and lean over the toilet, resting my weight on my elbows. I gasp urgently for breath as bile plops into the toilet and my body rejects the haemoglobin substitute.

I lie down on the cold tiles, panting slightly with a flushed face. My cheeks are wet and I realise that the water has spilt from my eyes. I take a few shuddering gasps and close my eyes, resting two fingers on each temple. Everything aches. But that's the effect frequent sickness has on you-I guess this is what bulimic people feel like. I shake slightly, the cold burrowing under my skin and sinking deep into my flesh, chilling me to the bone and invading my heart, encasing it in a hard layer of ice. I stand up, unsteadily, gripping the bathtub for support, I flush the toilet, watching the pink-tinged liquid swirl away. I begin to run a hot bath, I lie in it and let my tightly knotted muscles unwind and relax.

I feel like shit.

I decide to go and see Yuki-chan. I haven't seen her since...since yesterday morning. We didn't have to deal with the fangirls since half term has just started and we had separate duties both yesterday afternoon and today-still, I'm confused as to why I didn't run into her.

I reach over the side of the slippery tub and grasp my watch, bringing it to my face.

7:32pm Yuki-chan should be in her room, probably catching up on sleep she lost in the term. The corners of my mouth twitch as my lips form a curve-a smile-at the thought of her peaceful face when she's tucked neatly into pure white sheets, radiating her sweetness through every corner of the room. I sigh, immersed in this thought. The best part is that Kuran-kun is away on an exchange with some wizards along with a number of other Night Class bloodsuckers. I have Yuki-chan all to myself. **(A/N: Sure about that Zero? Last time I checked, she was on the exchange-oh wait, nobody told you. This should be fun!)**

I dip my head under the water and then rub shampoo into my hair, lathering it up. Honestly, Kuran NEEDS some hair tips-has he heard of conditioner? I shudder at the thought of those split ends. **(A/N: Zero's strange.)**

I rinse it out and condition, rub my body in soap then stand up, climbing out onto the fluffy, pink bathmat (headmaster's choice) and grabbing a white towel with pink embroidery and every hem and a large pink bunny stitched on. (Again headmaster's choice), drying myself vigorously with it and enjoying the rough heat caused by friction. I pull on my uniform and slip my Disciplinary Committee armband thing onto my upper arm over my sleeve.

I sigh slightly before rubbing the towel over my hair and arranging it so it doesn't look like I've just had an electric shock. Now time to see Yuki-chan. A smile creeps onto my face of the thought of her. My happiness is immediately replaced by guilt. Heavy as a stone, a dry lump in my throat which scratches like rough sandpaper when I swallow. I drank her blood.

 _I DRANK YUKI'S BLOOD._

I'm a monster. I think of her 'Kaname-senpai' as creep-a monster, but in reality I'm no better. But he-he's a pureblood-an arrogant, no-good PUREBLOOD! I shout the last word aloud, spitting it out with disgust and hatred. Bitter hatred. I hate him. I FUCKING HATE HIM! Kuran deserves to die. But rather then hurting him, I hurt Yuki. I drank her blood. I sucked it out. I attacked. She let me attack her. I sprang. I pounced. I bit. I sucked. Latched onto her neck like a vile leech, the parasite I now am. I listened to the sound of her blood being sucked into me as I drew part of her life out of her. I deserve to die. Right after I've killed the other filthy creatures. The Night Class students, contaminating the once fresh, once clean air which Yuki-chan breathes every day. Even her thoughts are contaminated. All of it is contaminated. Everything. Contaminated with Kuran. Kaname Kuran.

I gasp and collapse to the floor, curling up in a foetal position. I can feel the bloodlust attacking again-striking like a cobra, the snake gnawing at my insides. **(A/N: Zero, stop complaining, us girls have periods and believe me, they are BLOODY HELL!)**

God this hurts! With shaky fingers I pull out the box of blood tablets and haul myself up to the sink and try to force one down, repeatedly swallowing huge gulps of water. For a second the pain stops and all is calm and then a wave of nausea slams into me, knocking me down onto the floor. I rear up, gripping onto the toilet seat with fingers like vices and repeatedly vomit, the acid burns my throat and I can't stop, there's no time to breathe and I'm getting light headed. I feel as if I'm puking out my guts. After a few minutes, although it feels like hours, I spit the last bit of grossness into the toilet bowl and flush it, standing unsteadily and prying my sweaty fingers off the toilet seat. I wash my hands, feeling the sweat trickle from my clammy palms and then bend my head, rinsing out my mouth over and over and over again. FML.

 _Breathe, Zero, Breath._

I gladly suck in a lungful of oxygen.

 _It's okay, Zero. You're not a monster._

The voice in my head sounds suspiciously like Yuki-chan. It's wrong. I'm a vile, disgusting creature not fit to live on this earth and taint other, innocent people. I should die and then go and rot in hell, burning forevermore whilst sweet, kind Yuki-chan mourns me-I don't deserve to be mourned. I stumble towards my bed, movements jerky and uneven, before collapsing on top of it, fully clothed on top of the duvet, and slipping into a dark abyss of sleep. I'm vulnerable and alone. Naked and cold. My worst fears prey on me. This is the land of dreams, where I visit for a couple of hours every night and often during lessons as well. I'm a regular. I despise myself and everyone here does too. I like it here. I like to hate it. Because where I am when I'm awake is so much more painful. I'd rather have mental pain inflicted on myself than bring myself to physically harm people. But I do. I even harmed Yuki.


	12. Where's Yuki?

**Ryuk: Anyone got any apples?**

 **Devil(SNKlife): I have a potato and some gravy...**

 **Ryuk: It's not the same.**

 **Devil: -** ** _gasps-_** **HOW DARE YOU!**

 **Angel(Whirlpool833): Can you guys keep the noise down? I'm trying to listen to You Belong With Me.**

 **Devil: Isn't that, like, really old.**

 **Me: The old Taylor is DEAD. by listening to her music, we are respecting her.**

 **Devil: You guys know that she's not actually dead, right?**

 **Ryuk: Although I can make that happen...hehe**

 **Angel and I: As SNKlife said, 'HOW DARE YOU!**

 **Ryuk: Whilst I'm on your bad side, I may as well tell you-you don't own Vampire Knight. Or Harry Potter either. Hyuk hyuk.**

 **Angel: You have a very creepy laugh.**

 **Ryuk: I know, hyuk, hyuk.**

 **Me: -** ** _pulls knife from schoolbag-_** **RUN FOR YOUR FUCKING LIFE! BIIIIIIIIITCH!**

 **Ryuk: -** ** _running-_** **I'm male!**

 **Me: -** ** _chasing-_** **I DON'T FUCKING CARE, BITCH! BITCH! BITCH! BITCH!**

 **Devil:-** ** _whistles-_** **Sooo...You get the popcorn, I'll get the soda and we'll watch '177 beat the crap outta a shinigami?**

 **Angel: Sounds good to me. Typical Sunday night.**

Zero's PoV

I wake up feeling distinctly unrefreshed and possibly even more tired. I check the clock. 8:50pm. Great. Guess I tossed and turned for just over an hour in that prison I call sleep. Karma's a bitch, you know that? Don't brush your teeth one time when your 5 and end up cursed with vampire fangs for the rest of your life. Refuse to go to bed when you're three and about 12 years later, you're terrified to shut your eyes. Hah. Possibly the most unfunny joke ever. If Karma really existed, Yuki-chan wouldn't be getting attacked by Level E's left, right and centre. She just smells so goooooooood. I shut my eyes, feeling the memory ghost of her scent wash over me. My eyes snap open, glowing a ruby red as I recall the feeling of her sticky, warm blood oozing down my throat.

I let out a soft moan of pleasure as I remember the sweet taste of her...Yuuuuki...

I shake the thoughts out of my head. I despise myself for even thinking them. Yuki-chan is not food. She's a person. A person that I love. I'm going to go and see her.

I roll out of bed, collapsing with a painful thud on the floor and push myself up, dragging my feet to the bathroom, clouded by lethargy. My hair's been mussed up during my time spent in the nightmare kingdom, so I wave my hands briefly under the cold tap and arrange it so, although still casually tousled, it isn't a birds' nest.

I do up my top button-which somehow undid itself whilst I was sleeping-and tie my shoelace-time to see Yuki-chan!

"Yuki?" I knock on her door for the third time. No answer. She's probably sleeping, lazyass. I chuckle slightly at the thought and push the door open with a quiet creak. Wow it's hot in here! I walk over to the window and open it before turning to her bed. She isn't there. Her scent is extremely faint-and just as mouthwatering as ever which makes me despise my weak body and desires-as if she hasn't been in here for a while...

Where's Yuki?! A breeze blows through the empty window, making some hangers in the wardrobe clatter together.

"Yuki?" I call hesitantly before springing onto the window ledge like a Neko, well, with the agility of a cat. I don't need to be uselessly 'cute' or, as I like to think of it, a creepy hybrid.

I jump out, performing a perfect somersault. Unfortunately, I botch the landing due to me hearing a sudden noise and snapping my head to the side before landing on my neck/back and only avoiding a fracture by rolling on the bumpy ground straight into a large tree.

Fuck that hurt. I have a stinging graze on my knee-luckily it's not bleeding. Shit. Fuck. Crap. Ohh look at that. I'm going through an entire rainbow with my goddamn colourful language! FML.

I dart around, I can't quite catch Yuki-chan's scent anywhere which worries me. Then it hits me like slamming into a wall. I know what that feels like because immediately after I smell a faint tang of Yuki-chan, I close my eyes for a brief second and go splat on the wall. I slide painfully down to a heap on the floor.

"Ouch." I moan and there's a laugh from above me. I look up to see Shiki. Senri Shiki. Another one of those motherfucking parasites. I flip him off.

"Eff you-" I begin before I realise that he's exactly where the sweet scent of Yuki-chan is coming from. I push myself up in one fluid movement and slam into him, knocking him into the wall before grabbing him by the throat and holding the bloody rose gun to his temple. His eyes are wide like a deer during a hunt, but I know that underneath this mask of innocence and fear there is a hunting dog with a falcon's view of everything. I'm almost sure that this predator has consumed Yuki. Yuki-chan. MY Yuki-chan.

Still, I could be just slightly not correct-not wrong, I'm not wrong. But maybe just slightly off centre. I ram the gun into his head hard and I hear it collide painfully with his skull. A smirk dances on my lips. Nobody hurts Yuki-chan. He readies himself to fight as best he can whilst still trapped against the wall.

I'm not having it, I cock the gun so that if my finger so much as twitches to squeeze the trigger, it'll blow his brains out. This power gives me a surge of savage satisfaction

"Where's Yuki?!" I demand, trying to stop myself from yelling too loud-I don't need anybody coming to the pathetic scum's help.

A slight smile plays at the corner of his lips, tugging them upwards. HOW DARE HE!

"WHERE?!" I press with a tinge of disparity.

He smirks, arrogant leech. "Remove the gun and I'll tell you-kill me and Yuki-chan won't be so happy with you, will she?"

My blood boils and I can feel my pulse racing, adrenaline courses through me, surging around my body in my bloodstream. It takes all my self control to lower my hand, fingers frozen in place, clutching the weapon.

"Drop it." his voice is serious now-but not scared.

Regretfully, I open my hand slightly and watch it plummet with a soft 'thud' onto the grass by my feet.

"Where is she?"

"England." He pulls out a stick of pocky and places it in his mouth. It dances as he says, "She's on the exchange, Lord Kuran wanted her to go and so she did." There's a touch of smugness in his voice and I lash out, slapping him hard. Only he ducks and the force I use overbalances me. I end up in a crumpled heap at his feet.

FUCK!

He sniggers and saunters off.

England...Headmaster will have a few questions to answer when I get hold of him.

I pick up my gun and slip it back into my jacket before shoving my hands into my pockets with unnecessary force and stomping back indoors. Stupid vampires. Bloody purebloods. Can't they all just fuck off and die?!

My eyes glow a hot red as I think of dismembering them all-in particular, Kuran. Kaname Kuran. I savour the thought and tuck it away. Yuki-chan would hate me if she knew that ran through my mind on the daily.


	13. Office Interrogation!

**Guess what? MY COMPUTER DELETED CHAPTER 13! I AM** **BEYOND** **PISSED!**

 **I DON'T OWN VAMPIRE KNIGHT OR HARRY POTTER, now if you'll excuse me, I'm off to mourn the old chapter 13 which was tragically lost in the mists of time...**

Snape's PoV

That Cross girl won the potions face-off. She has talent-raw talent and to be honest, it scares me. Someone with no natural magical ability should NOT be capable of that. It's alarming. Her aura, as well, it's stronger than the pureblood lord's. Powerful. It's pulsing with a powerful magic, both dark and light. I can sense that there's a spell on her-but as well as this, she has an ability far greater than anyone in both wizard and vampire history. I intend to get to the bottom of this.

She's a sweet, respectful girl and I can't help liking her-yet another cause for concern, but I feel that I would fight for her and I know that everybody else who was there during the potions face-off, all of the Hogwarts and Cross Academy students feel the same way. She's stirring something inside the darkest of hearts-hope, maybe-but something which burns like a desire. A desire to protect her. She's truly remarkable because that fierce emotion being roused in everybody she meets is love. Everybody loves her. Whether as a friend, an acquaintance or truly a lover. (The second applies to me) It's not a spell, or magic though. It's her.

Now, they're doing magical trust exercises with Pomona-this'll be fun.

Ginny's PoV

"Alrighty." chirps Professor Sprout. "We're really hoping to build some team trust with this exercise so everyone will be partnered with someone from the other school who ISN'T your exchange. The pairs were predetermined and cannot be changed." she shoots a malevolent glare at Malfoy as she says this. He doesn't notice because he's too busy undressing Yuki with his eyes.

"Miss Toya, you'll be with Mr Malfoy." she squeaks and the orange-haired girl rolls her eyes at him before resuming her poker face.

"Hai, sensei." she says with a disinterested and yet somehow respectful tone. HOW THE FUCK?! I'VE BEEN TRYING TO DO THAT FOR YEARS!

"Mr Kane and Miss Lovegood." Ooooh...Luna gets Hermione's exchange.

He too says, "hai sensei." inclining his neck in a slight, respectful bow.

"Miss Cross and Mr Thomas." Dean looks up, slightly startled but with his custom cheeky smile.

Yuki beams, "Arigatōgozaimashita sensei, **(A/N: thank you teacher)** thank you Professor sprout."

Professor Sprout, too, seems to like her-first Snape and now her. Wow!

"Mr Ichijo and Miss Abbott."

Again, repeated "hai sensei" and fancy little bow etc etc, (side note, Hannah is as red as a beetroot...)

"Miss Seiren and Miss Granger" Hermione and the awesome badass gal who got Malfoy-damn I want to have a chat with her!

Wait a second...that means-

"Mr Kuran Sir and Miss Weasley" I'm with the all-powerful LORD! Fuck. I hope he's nothing like Malfoy because, though he may be resistant to magic, I happen to know that Yuki has a special magic weapon and I will not refrain from using it. After nicking it...or maybe it'd just be easier to lock him and Malfoy in a room together and threaten to not let them out until they kiss or fuck or whatever and then open a door and take a picture and post it on every part of the internet I can until it's viral and they're both so ashamed of everything that they kill themselves...woah! I need to stop plotting when there's a possibility that he may be nice-after all, Yuki really seems to like him.

 **BACK IN JAPAN AT CROSS ACADEMY**

Zero's PoV

I march furiously into the headmaster's office, slamming the door behind me so that the room trembles slightly.

"EXPLAIN!" I mean it to sound commanding, but my voice quivers slightly. FML.

"OOOOH! Hello, Zero! Tea?" he bats his eyelashes. He friggin' bats his eyelashes. **(A/N: No he's not being gay, I don't ship them ew, gross, just no. He's just being strange and weird. This is not an objection to yaoi but I believe that these two characters DO NOT belong together in any universe)**

"NO!" I yell, a growly undertone in my voice. "EXPLAIN WHY YUKI-CHAN IS ON THE _VAMPIRE_ EXCHANGE WITH THE _VAMPIRE_ STUDENTS WHEN YUKI-CHAN IS CLEARLY A _HUMAN!"_ He beams dottily, completely unfazed.

"It'll build trust between wizards and vampires!" He rabbits on overly cheerful as I tune out, fingers stretching towards his desk lamp.

With a smooth, quick motion, I kick the lightswitch, doing a mini arabesque and tilt the desk lamp into his face.

"This is an official interrogation! Why did you decide to let her go?"

Cross blinks a bit in the sudden light before recovering his crazy demeanour.

"Kaname-sama suggested it." he gabbles, "He had several strong arguments...can't quite recall them all...rose tea?" I grind my teeth in a rage. FML.

KURAN!

"And you let her go?!"

He gives me a confused stare. "Yes, of course, I mean-she must be bored all alone and there aren't many duties and with you dealing with..." once again, I tune out, briefly shutting my eyes.

"So he went to tell her-"

"I'm going to England." I interrupt him.

He gawks at me. "E-england. Y-you. W-why?" he stammers.

"To see Yuki-chan." Crap, I need a better excuse. I rack my brains. Ummm..."Just in case anybody gives her any trouble." Nope, still not convincing enough. FML

"I-err-have a holiday gift I want to give her-I think it'll make her happy...just staying for a few hours and then flying back here. If I take a morning flight tomorrow, I can be back the day after at 6am. Comfortably. And Yuki-chan will be really happy to see me." I honey my tone, trying to persuade him. "After all, she is my _sister."_

That last line is what gets him-I've always denied being part of the 'family' and as soon as I've mentioned opening out to Yuki, his stupid huge heart has burst. He wipes tears from his eyes.

"OF COURSE! OF COURSE! I'll arrange flight tickets and bus tickets and..." I let him drone on and begin to smirk.

In two days, I'll be back here and-with any luck-Yuki-chan'll be with me! Goodbye Kuran! My devious smile falters. Unless...unless she chooses the jackass over me. In which case, FML. But-she wouldn't do that, right? Right. Yuki-chan's too sweet-I'm going to prepare something to woo her. Kuran vs Kiryu, may her favourite win. Of course, she may decide on somebody else. Right..? FML! No-she won't. She'll love me! I'll make her love me! DAMMIT I'LL EVEN GO ALL YANDERE ON HER! I NEED YUKI!

"Okay, I'll sort all that. Be ready by 5am tomorrow." he sings. Sings. FML.

Dammit that's early...oh well. It's worth it, for Yuki. I nod and walk out to the corridor. Yuki-chan, I'm coming...

 **(Sorry this is quite short-I'm rlly busy. Quick quiz, how many times does Zero think 'FML' in this chapter? Please Review and tell me.)**


	14. Quick Zero emotions filler (392 words)

**Eren: Ummm...anyone here? At all? Anyone?**

 **Me: OMIGOD! It's Eren Jaegar!**

 **Devil (SNKLife): Did someone say Eren? As in Attack on Titan Eren?!**

 **Me+Devil: WE SHIP ERERI!**

 **Levi: Hey brat, weird girls.**

 **Me+Devil: Hi Levi!**

 **Levi: Fucking hell they know my name.**

 **Eren: And mine. They say that they 'ship ereri.' what the fucking hell is that.**

 **Levi: Beats me, but to get back to our universe we have to deliver this message from this dorky idiot with terrible hair who kept flaunting his height. Painted Maypole.**

 **Me: OMIGOD! YOU'RE QUOTING HERMIA FROM A MIDSUMMER NIGHT'S DREAM!**

 **Devil and Eren:..?**

 **Devil: -** ** _cough_** **-nerds-** ** _cough_** **-**

 **Me: Umm...you're a nerd too. You're so good at maths and French and-**

 **Devil: SHUSH!**

 **Levi: Anyways, the message was something about '177 not owning Vampire Knight or Harry Potter. Sound familiar?**

 **Me: It's the reason I beat up a shinigami.**

 **Levi: Oh. Okay. Bye then. See you guys soon.**

 **Eren: Bye!**

 **Me and Devil: BAIIIIII!**

 **Eren and Levi: -** ** _leave-_**

 **Me and Devil:** ** _-faint-_**

 **Angel: -** ** _walks in-_** **Hey guys! Ooooooh! Slumber party! Lemme fetch my pineapple pjs!**

Zero's PoV

I sit in the plane seat, fidgeting anxiously. I don't want to be hit by bloodlust here-hell I don't want to be suffering from it anywhere, but especially not here. I twiddle my fingers together.

 _why?_

Why would Yuki go on an exchange without telling me? It doesn't make sense! She's too nice and she's not a vampire. She certainly wouldn't offer herself up as a snack-but she did for me...unless she was conned into it by that cunning pureblood Kuran! I bitterly hate him. He can rot in hell for all I care.

There's only one plausible explanation...YUKI WAS KIDNAPPED! Conned by her ridiculous 'Kaname-sama' she went willingly and then they trapped her. I have to save her before it's too late! **(A/N: I won't kill Zero off (yet) in a plane crash because I want to have him make a fool of himself so that I can have a laugh. Sorry Whirlpool 833, I won't name any names for the people who wanted him to die Whirlpool. (Jk))**

 **Yes, I'm aware that this chapter is shorter than Levi, the clean freak (just about) but I'm only using it to help make chapter 15 make more sense. BAIIIII!**

 **Please like, review, throw roses, throw money, eat cake, have fun etc**


	15. Drink or Dare begins

**Me: It's called** ** _FanFiction_** **for a reason, -** ** _grumble grumble-_** **Why do we have to write disclaimers?!**

 **Devil (SNKLife): I know right! If we didn't, I might actually have hope and happiness-I'd forget that I don't own BTS and Attack on Titan.**

 **Me: Oh, if only! Jimin is my bias! I can't believe you wouldn't let me have V as my bias!**

 **Devil: I bagsied him. Finders keepers, losers end up burning in my kingdom of hell.**

 **Angel(Whirlpool833): Hi guys! Oh-Are you doing a disclaimer? Have you guys told the readers that '177 doesn't own Vampire Knight or Harry Potter? And that neither of you own Death Note, BTS, Taylor Swift and Attack on Titan?**

 **Me: You mean...WE DON'T OWN LEVI-HEICHOU?! BUT I WANT HIM! HE HAS ABS! -** ** _breaks down crying-_**

 **Devil: How dare you! You made her cry! You're so dead! FANGIRLS...ATTACK!**

 **-** ** _Me, Devil and army of fangirls attack-_**

 **Angel: AAAAARGH! I'M SORRY! I'M SORRY! YOU OWN LEVI-AND ERIN TOO!**

 **Devil, Me and Fangirls: IT'S ER** ** _E_** **N NOT ER** ** _I_** **N!**

Hannah's PoV

The day was really fun-there was no OWLs stress and, best of all, Draco Malfoy was too busy trying (and failing) to cast charms, brew potions and weave spells to make Yuki love him to bully everybody else! They awarded points whenever somebody won an activity. Yuki and Hermione won loads, for the entire afternoon, I was partnered with Yuki so I also won loads which was really good! She seems sweet and the other exchanges are too, although they're a bit more introverted than her. The best part, though, was by far when Umbitch-my secret nickname for professor Umbridge-took an activity and completely fell in love with Yuki! It was hilarious, I mean, she's not romantically in love but she really likes her-as in favouritism likes. She kept smiling at her and agreeing with everything she said. It was really funny when she said something disparaging about vampires being uncontrollable beasts and Yuki put her hand up, came to the front and gave us an entire lecture-including diagrams on the blackboard-about the different levels of vampire and how only the Level "E"'s are uncontrollable. Umbitch immediately agreed which was amusing.

Yuki used it to everyone's advantage though, not just hers and that's one of the things I like about her-she's really, really nice.

Now, we're grouped in the hall in 3 sections.

I'm with Ginny, Yuki and her redhead friend, Rima. Over in the opposite corner there is Draco, his exchange Takuma, Dean Thomas, the vampire lord guy who is terrifying but seems kind and Hermione's exchange, Kain. In the corner to our left is Luna and Hermione with my poker faced exchange Seiren. She seems civil, but she doesn't speak much at all and doesn't really show her emotions. But we can't hate somebody who tackled Draco Malfoy to the ground.

It's 7pm right now-well, 7:02 to be precise and we're all sitting in our groups. We're meant to be 'bonding' or whatever and I'm pretty sure Hermione is going to make us do something educational in a second.

"Alright everybody come and make a circle in the in the middle of the hall."

See?

We drag our feet over there and I end up sitting between Luna and Yuki.

"Does anybody have any ideas for a game we could play to get to know each other?"

The Ichijo boy shrugs slightly, "Alphabe-" Yuki slams into him before he can finish and pulls out a silver scythe pointing it at him.

"We are NOT playing that game EVER AGAIN! It's a boring, tedious road trip game and we suffered for 1 AND A HALF HOURS playing it on the journey here when you forced us to." She pulls it away and it shrinks into a thin, silver cylinder which she tucks into somewhere under her short skirt. They're all wearing their school uniforms but they've brought clothes for tomorrow. Both them and we are allowed to wear own clothes for the exchange.

I consider slightly, my cousin, on the muggle side of my family, is always partying and telling me about his drinking games and he was telling me before the start of this term about one called "drink or dare". It's basically truth or dare only you get a dare and if you don't or can't complete it, you chug a glass of alcohol. Maybe if we could switch it up to drinking a potion or something, we could play that.

I suggest drink or dare and Yuki gasps.

"Oh, I know that game! But we definitely need to change it so that we're not having alcohol. Ichijo has a very low alcohol intolerance and I do NOT want to see him puke again today.

A collective shudder passes through the exchanges as they relive a seemingly disturbing memory.

"Okay, how about it you can't do the dare, instead you get a glass of water dumped over your head?" Hermione offers.

"Good idea." Seiren's face looks almost...pleased? Wow, she's close to showing emotion!

"Okay, let's go around the circle. But first- _aquavio_ " she conjures up a large amount of glasses of water in the centre of the circle-Newt standard magic again. She must have force-apparated it from the kitchen which is impressive.

She turns to Kain who's next to her and says, "I dare you to hug whoever your crush is."

Kain's face goes as red as a beetroot and he stammers, "Um-b-but-I. Crap." The Lord, Kaname, turns to him and says, surprisingly wickedly.

"Water?"

Kain nods and buries his face in his hands. "It's the safest option."

The lord just laughs as Hermione fetches a glass and dumps the freezing contents flushed Akatsuki who yelps in such a high pitched voice that I swear we all have a heart attack-his ordinary voice is so low!

He turns to Rima, the bubbly orange-bunches girl who's crunching a stick of something chocolatey.

"I dare you to choose someone here and put on music and then sing and dance a duet to some random song and we'll all give you a score out of ten." He smirks and raises an eyebrow, a smug expression on his face.

Rima, however, just shrugs, walks over to Yuki and whispers something in her ear. Yuki's eyes light up and they both grin demonically.

"Hey Kain-san, are we allowed to dress up?" Rima inquires.

Kain's eyes widen slightly, "S-sure." he stammers.

They grin and walk over to their beds, pulling the hangings and then opening them to reveal that they're both dressed in tight fitting leather outfits. Yuki's has a filled gun holster and her silver pole thing secured to her leg along with a whole belt of knives and Rima's has three diamante revolvers and 3 gem-studded sheathed knives, nunchucks are tucked into her belt and they're both wearing glittery, red bow ties.

"I was the only one back at Cross Academy who knew about Yuki's videos." Rima grins, "We brought these for the next one, we'll give you a quick preview."

 **(A/N:** _Yuki_ Rima _Both_ _ **)**_

They walk to either side of the room and both of them unsheathe a knife.

" _Let's do this!"_

The music begins to play.

They never saw us coming

 _Until they hit the floor_

 _They just kept begging for more, more_

 _Na na na na na na na, all dressed up for a hit and run_

 _Na na na na na na na, all dressed up for a hit and run_

I was brought up a southern belle

I grew into the queen of hell

You were just a little stowaway that stabbed her way to save herself

 _You always liked the taste of blood,_

 _and I get off when I point the gun_

 _It's so good to have someone_

 _to be so bad with_

 _First one up was a preacher's son_

 _last one down was an Englishman_

 _I'm in bed with his bow tie on_

They twiddle their bow ties with a sexy wink

 _All dressed up for a hit and run._

 **(A/N: Song is 'hit and run' by LOLO I'd recommend the nightcore version it's amazing)**

They continue the song to the very end and it contains a lot of throwing and dodging knives, swinging nunchucks and general sexy fighting. It all looks very dangerous and I know I'd never be able to do it, but they pull it off perfectly and we're all left stunned and gawking.

We all give it a ten except for Kain and Ichijo who're sulking and give them a 9 and Draco who gives them an 11 because he likes gaping at Yuki and undressing her with his eyes.

"Anyways," Rima turns to Draco, "I dare you to put on a bikini and do a hula dance whilst I film you and put it on youtube on Yuki's account." She acts so innocent but a strangely likeable satan resides inside of her!

 **(Devil: What can I say? I have a certain charm.**

 **Me: Shush! I'm trying to humiliate somebody here!)**

Draco's eyes bulge. He looks about to refuse when he opens his mouth and shuts it like a goldfish before nodding stiffly.

"Y-yes because I am a very fun-loving person." He states robotically and unconvincingly, "And I'm a man."

He glances over at Yuki, sees she doesn't look amazingly impressed and flexes his bicep. Ohh...he's doing it to impress her. Several demonic gazes are shown around the circle as one by one everybody realises and thinks about how they can use this to their advantages.

"So, where's the bikini?"

Hermione points her wand at her bed, "accio swimsuit" a pretty blue, frilly swimsuit appears. Hermione bats her eyelashes sweetly, "This is the swimsuit I was planning to give any exchange girl who forgot to bring one, but you can have it instead.

"I-I" Draco looks desperately for a way out but Hermione has already used magic to put it on him. IT'S HILARIOUS!

"Dance, boiiiii!" Ginny laughs, wiping tears of mirth from her eyes. Rima films his awkward and embarrassing hula dance and posts it immediately on Youtube.

"This'll be popular." she smiles evilly. "Okay, back to the game."

A mortified Draco turns to Luna, "Hey Looney, I dare you to tell me exactly what the voices in your head are saying


	16. Douse or Dare

**Levi: TITANS! It's a FUCKING TITAN ATTACK! Get up off your lazy asses! BRAT! HORSEFACE! POTATO-go round the back and fight off the 5 there, Shitty glasses, cover the front-use one of your chemical bomb things you were working on, ANNIE, SCARF AND COCONUT take the left side, Reiner and Bertholdt, you come with me to the right side. MOVE MOVE MOVE! Honestly, come to a weird universe with an author girl and there are Titans here too. FML.**

 **Eren, Jean and Sasha -** ** _loudly_** **-: Sir, yes sir.**

 **Annie, Mikasa and Armin -** ** _louder-:_** **Sir Yes Sir.**

 **Eren, Jean and Sasha -** ** _even louder-_** **: SIR YES SIR.**

 **Annie, Mikasa and Armin -** ** _loudest sound humans have ever made-:_** **SIR YES SIRRRRR!**

 **Eren, Jean and Sasha -** ** _infinitely loud-:_** **SIRRRRR YESSSS SI-**

 **Levi -** ** _interrupting_** **-: Will you SHUT THE FUCK UP! It's not a bloody competition.**

 **Hange: -** ** _picks up soap and walks over to Levi threateningly, ready to stuff it in his mouth-_**

 **Levi-** ** _threateningly-_** **: Put Soapy McSudface back in the soap dish, Shitty Glasses, and nobody gets hurt.**

 **Hange -** ** _afraid-_** **: Yes sir. -** ** _puts soap back on dish-_** **Why is there a soap dish in the dining hall?**

 **Levi: Because I'm hygienic NOW HURRY UP AND KILL SOME TITANS! Honestly, I do everything around here.**

 **Me: WHAAAAAAT?! TITANS?! IN MY STORY?! Great. Now I'll have to say that I don't own AoT AS WELL AS Vampire Knight and Harry Potter. Oh that makes me so mad, I could just...-** ** _explodes and kills all of the titans before miraculously regenerating-_** **Tch, what a mess. Clean it brats**

 **Levi: SEE?! I AM** **NOT** **A CLEAN FREAK, I'M SANITARY-THE NARRATOR GIRL AGREES WITH ME! -** ** _miraculously transforms into titan-_** **NOW CLEEEEEAAAAAAN!**

 **Me: Nice one. By the way, the titan serum costs £789000000000000654300000000000.21 or just a glimpse of your abs.**

 **Levi: -** ** _transforms back into titan and lifts shirt-_**

 **Me: Thank you, now on with the story-I'll be sure to put your dare in there.**

Yuki's PoV

Draco cracks up, clearly thinking that mocking mental health problems and labelling Luna as schizophrenic is funny. I mentally crack my knuckles. Acting skills are about to come in handy.

3...2...1...I burst into tears.

"KIRAI THAT'S REALLY MEAN!" I turn my head to the side and place my gaze slightly above Hannah's head.

Everyone looks at me, slightly freaked.

I whip my head to the left and stare above Ichijo, "AND YOU TOO AI!"

"Umm...Yuki?" Kaname says my name cautiously.

I ignore him and continue, "Just because she doesn't hear YOU two doesn't mean she doesn't have any invisible friends!"

I pause for a few seconds and then pretend to gasp. "Shut up. SHUT UUUUUUP!" I scream and hurl myself on the floor, shaking myself and slapping myself, it realistically looks as if three people have invaded my body and are fighting each other.

Ginny seems to catch on as she jerks her head roughly upwards.

"Jodie...NO! JODIE LET GO!" She grips her left wrist with her right hand and pretends to be trying to pull it free.

I watch from the corner of my eye as Hermione realises and clutches her head, desperately squeezing her hands over her ears.

"Stop it!" she moans, "STOOOOP IT! Please, Cedric, please!" At the mention of the name Cedric, Draco goes white.

"C-cedric?" he gasps, "B-but Cedric's...d-dead."

Hermione begins to violently shake before speaking in a low, creepy voice. "AVENGE MY DEATH AND KILL THE ONE WHO'S FATHER SIDES WITH MY KILLER." she turns her head almost robotically before gazing at Malfoy and standing unsteadily up, hunched back and dangling arms. She reaches out her hands as if to strangle him and Malfoy gives a bloodcurdling shriek.

"THEY'RE ALL CRAZY! DEMONS! MONSTERS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" and then he faints, collapsing on the floor. Well that was entertaining! As soon as he's out, we all drop our acts and laugh. The others stare at us, bewildered before figuring it out - Kaname-senpai first - and laughing hard.

Luna smiles dreamily at me, "Thank you Yuki. For standing up for me. And giving Malfoy a mini heart attack." she looks up thoughtfully, "I wonder if he has Bottsbargers living in his brain which make him mean. Probably not-even Bottsbargers aren't that horrible."

"That was really clever." Hermione says earnestly, her eyes are critical, she seems to be studying me, but not in a judgemental way as in measuring my knowledge, it's like she's trying to see into my mind and I shudder slightly at the thought.

"Yeah." some of the others chime in.

Hermione-san clears her throat, "Let's continue the game now, shall we." Whilst this was going on, the invisible narrator-san-

 **(Me: MEEEEE! Angel: Calm down, '177)**

-crept up behind me and whispered an idea for a fantastic dare on my go, slipping the prop into my hand. I laughed mentally-poor, poor Ichijo was about to have the fright of his life...

Ichijo's PoV

 **(Me: Time for Levi's dare.**

 **Devil and I: SENPAIIIII! NOTICE ME!**

 **Angel: They're strange.)**

Luna turns to Hannah, "I dare you drop a glass of water on Draco's head and when he wakes up, flip him off and then punch him in the head yelling, "Abuse! Abuse! He has SEXOMNIA! Because he laughed at a serious medical condition so we will too. At _his_ expense."

 **(A/N: I have nothing against sexomniacs)**

Hannah smirks, "Oh I'm staying very dry this round." Of course-nobody would turn down that dare in exchange for a soaking!

"It's not even that mean." Yuki smiles, "We prepared him-we even put him in a swimsuit."

Hannah reaches in and grasps a brimming glass of liquid from the centre.

"Wakey, wakey." she teases, dumping the contents on his face. He opens his eyes with a sharp gasp and she flips him off before socking him HARD in the nose.

"ABUSE! ABUSE! HE MOLESTED ME!"

"What?! I was asleep, you filthy half blood. I couldn't have!"

The circle gasps.

"You are a SEXOMNIAC!" She screeches, slapping his face for dramatic effect.

"Maybe I'm still dreaming and I'll close my eyes and wake up fine in bed the day before the exchange. Yes, that's right, at least my dreams aren't as silly as Potter's." he snickers, shutting his eyes and lying back down, submitting to unconsciousness. Damn that was funny.

 **(A/N: Did you guys like Levi's dare? Please leave a review at the end and tell me which dare in the entire two chapters was your favourite, anyway on with this chapter!)**

Hannah-san glances at Yuki-san.

"I dare you to perform "I'm too sexy for my shirt" and rip off your shirt at that line so you're just in a bra. I want to see how much the boys drool." she giggles.

We wait for Yuki-san to sigh and accept a soggy fate, but to our surprise she eagerly nods. Turning to Ruka, she adopts a sexy posy, "Hit it."

 _I'm too sexy for my love  
_ _Too sexy for my love_  
 _Love's going to leave me_

 _I'm too sexy for my shirt_

She traces a heart over her heart and slowly undoes her top button

 _Too sexy for my shirt_

she rips off her shirt and dramatically places a hand over her heart, hunching over in imaginary pain.  
 _So sexy it hurts_  
 _And I'm too sexy for Milan_

She lifts her hand and makes a flicking movement as if brushing something away.

 _Too sexy for Milan_

She wags a finger, oozing sass

 _New York, and Japan_

She counts the three places, Milan, New York and Japan, on three fingers.  
 _I'm too sexy for your party_

She places a finger on her lips in an innocent pose  
 _Too sexy for your party_

Draco wakes up and gawks dozily at her.  
 _No way I'm disco dancing_

"I've died and gone to heaven" he whimpers and sighs dreamily, leaning forward and resting his face on his hand, putting weight on his elbows to watch the rest of the dance.

...

 _And I'm too sexy for this song_

Yuki finishes in a sexy pose with a sultry pout.

"Alright ya pervs, shirt goes back on so get your drooling out the way now." she yells, re-buttoning her pajama top.

Draco groans, "Do you have to." We all stare at him as he reaches out to touch her hand, but before his fingers brush hers, Ginny whips out her wand and mutters "Petrificus totalus" Draco's arms snapped to his sides and he fell back.

"Ever heard of consent?" she spits. "Don't mess with my friends."

She high fives Yuki who grins, "Nice wandwork-I believe it's my turn to dare Takuma-san."

I glance up, startled, at the mention of my name.

"Y-yes"

 **(A/N: Here comes the dare I told Yuki about at the end of Luna's dare. He he)**

She whips out what looks like a white wax voodoo doll and a pin.

"Since we're in a magic school we may as well do some magic" she beams, seemingly innocent, "All you need to do is wave this in the air, yell 'Spirit be with us!' and then stab it through the heart with this pin. Easy as pie. No catch-just some simple fun."

"No catch?" I ask suspiciously.

"No catch." she agrees, she seems so...so...guiltless-I know that little Yuki-chan would never do anything cruel so I accept the dare and take the voodoo doll and pin combo.

"It won't work." Murmurs Hermione and Ginny shushes her, "It's just a bit of fun-honestly, you're turning into Percy and nobody wants that."

Who the hell's Percy?

"So I just...wave it?" I hesitantly shake it above my head and Yuki nods happily.

"SPIRIT BE WITH US!" nothing happens so I easily slide the the pin through the dolls heart.

The floor trembles and a girl appears, sort of translucent with long dark hair, a fringe, dark green eyes and mascara tears falling fast down her face. She opens her mouth, clutching her chest and _wails._ It's loud and it hurts my ears, shaking every atom in me. I feel sweat seep into my clothes as she approaches me, taking great shuddering gasps and screaming whenever her lungs contain air.

She reaches out with a clawed hand, trying to scratch my face.

I scream bloody murder. Literally, I yell the words, "BLOODY MURDER!"

"You-you have WOUNDED ME!" she shrieks and twitches, her eyes wide and freaky. "AND NOW I SHALL WOUND YOU!" she has no scent, but she's there. She doesn't exist but I see her. She's about to kill me or at least maul me badly.

That's when I run. As fast as I can to the infirmary and I arrive panting with a stitch in my side. Tears are leaking from my eyes and pouring down my face. FUCK YUKI-SHE'S NOT INNOCENT!


	17. Ghost Girl joins in

**Soapy McSudface: Cleanliness is next to Godliness.**

 **Hange: AWWWWWW! He said his first words!**

 **Levi, Eren, Jean, Angel, Devil, Me and everybody else: WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. FUCK?!**

 **Levi: You mean to say, that my soap is ALIVE?!**

 **Hange: Yep, one of my grandest creations yet.**

 **Levi: How...long has it been alive?**

 **Hange: 3 weeks, why?**

 **Levi: I'VE BEEN TAKING A FUCKING SHOWER IN FRONT OF YOUR FUCKING SOAP EVERY DAY FOR 3 WEEKS! I KNEW I HEARD SOMEONE GIGGLING WHEN I WAS SINGING 'FAKE LOVE'**

 **Jean:...actually...**

 **Levi: ...WHAT?!**

 **Jean:...that was...kinda...maybe...me?**

 **Levi:-** ** _picks up gun and cocks it-_** **So. I've had imperial leather**

 **Soapy McSudface: Actually, I'm dove super smooth, bar soap-you chose me yourself...**

 **Levi: Shut it Soapy, as I was saying I've had IMPERIAL LEATHER and a fucking horse perving on me in the shower?!**

 **Jean: Yep**

 **Hange: Kinda**

 **Soapy: Cleanliness is next to godliness**

 **Levi: ...**

 **Hange: -** ** _squeals-_** **Ohhhh! He said it again!**

 **Soapy: Cleanliness is next to godliness, Cleanliness is next to godliness, Cleanliness is next to godliness, Cleanliness is next to godliness, Cleanliness is next to-**

 **Devil, Levi and I: SHUT UUUUUPPPPP!**

 **Soapy: You guys are so venomous...fun fact: Wasp venom in their stings is alkali-like me! Most alkali's feel soapy which is a funny comparison because what does soap feel like? Alkaliny? No, now the fact the ph affects the texture is-**

 **Devil, Angel and I: Can it bubble bar! We don't want a Chemistry lesson!**

 **Soapy: How about I teach you something else? '177 doesn't own Vampire Knight or Harry Potter.**

 **Everyone: KILL THE SOAP!**

 **Levi: I'm replacing you with soap from...-** ** _dramatic pause-_** **...THE BODY SHOP!**

 **Everyone including Soapy except Levi: GASP!**

 **Levi: You guys just said gasp...**

 **Devil: Yep, get over it. Btw you're not alone.**

 **Levi: What?**

 **Devil and me: We sing Fake Love in the shower too!**

 **Soapy: UUUUUGH! TMI, TMI!**

 **Levi: Oh fuck off Soapy.**

Ginny's PoV

As soon as Ichijo has left the room, the mysterious "Ghost Girl" straightens up and she and Yuki burst out laughing, they high five.

"Nice one '177, I have to say Author-san, you ARE evil."

The writer smooths down her hair looking extremely sexy.

 _Okay, that was NOT what I was thinking at least give me freedom of thought Awesomewriter!_

 **Fine.**

"What can I say?" She purrs.

 **Purrs?**

 _You sounded like a starving panther._

Suddenly I started slapping myself which hurt. A lot.

 _AUTHOR!_

Anyway, we invited her to join us because despite her being annoying, I have a feeling that's what I'd do too if someone compared me speaking to a hungry animal.

 **Awww, thanks! I'll leave you to narrate this bit then-stay badass!**

 _Will do, bye!_

She sits where Ichijo was.

"I'll take over Ichijo since he's sobbing his heart out on Madam Pomfrey's shoulder."

There are a couple of titters at this.

"Dean, I dare you to dress up in high heels, glittery eye shadow, a wig, lipstick, a handbag and a brightly coloured-short-dress which shows off your legs-which you will shave, and flirt with Snape."

Dean's eyes are larger than saucers.

"Water." he squeaks and '177 obliges, dumping not one, but two, on his head.

"I wish I could dump water on Malfoy." she sighs regretfully.

"well...we do need to wake him up." I cock an eyebrow as I suggest this and her face lights up as she grabs 2 glasses in each hand and showers him in icy water, yelling "BOO!" as she does so. He screams and faints again.

"Baby." Rima mumbles gleefully. Dammit this game is even more fun than I had anticipated!

Dean turns to Seiren.

"I dare you to dye your hair pink."

Seiren gasps and grabs a strand of her immaculate silver bob.

"Tawagoto!" **(A/N: Shit)** "Water." she closes her eyes with a little jump as Dean upturns a cup over her head, ruining her hairstyle. Oh well...

Seiren turns to Kaname with a wicked glint in her eye.

"I dare you to tell everybody what you were doing last Thursday evening."

Kaname flushes a violent red. **(A/N: Flashback to him sleepwalking and kissing Seiren's door because in the evil dream kingdom, it was Yuki. Seiren was hilariously woken to him making out with it and then saying "Your lips are so cold, Yuki...Have you been kissing Aido?")**

"Oh my god." Rima says stunned. "Kaname lost his cool."

Suddenly, Yuki stands up, cups her hands arounds her mouth and yells, "IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! THE WORLD IS ENDING!"

Draco sits up "But I'm too pretty to die!" He faints again and we all splutter uncontrollably.

Seiren looks up at Kaname.

"Ummm...Kaname-sama, ummm..." He raises an eyebrow, waiting.

"Help, someone come up with a good one!"#

The narrator girl-

 **(ME!)**

-raises her hand.

"I dare you to go and see Ichijo in the hospital wing and because I'm the writer everything I say comes true I'll say that Madam Pomfrey and any teacher we meet on the way can't see me then you get down there and pretend that you can't see me whilst I hover creepily behind you and freak him out."

Poor, poor Ichijo. He will suffer greatly for our amusement.

Lord Kaname just nods although his eyes are smiling despite his solemn expression. In one fluid motion, he stands and extends a hand out to author-san.

"Come away with me and be free! We'll run away together to a land of enchantment!"

The room was filled with romantic music and author-chan forgot all of her problems and took the offered hand-

 _AUTHOR!_

 **Alright fine. That didn't happen. Sigh. Instead, just go from "in one fluid motion he stands"**

and walks out of the door, the so-called 'spirit' floating behind him, reading ereri fanfics on her phone. **Damn Levi has abs.**

 _He's 32, hun._

 **A girl can dream, but I don't want him-I WANT ERERI!**

 _Has Hange possessed you by any chance?_

 **Yes, yes YESSSSSSSSS!**

 **Sorry about that, I'm back-oh no! She tried to seduce Kaname! HANGE! How dare she sabotage Yuname.**

Meanwhile, Ichijo's PoV

The kind Nurse, Madam Pomfrey sat me in a squashy armchair with a fluffy cushion which I'm hugging to my chest, rocking backwards and forwards, gibbering.

She also gave me some chocolate which I'm nibbling on. I sip my blood-tablet water. I can feel the warmth spread through my chest, arms and into my fingers and toes. I take a deep, calming breath. I can distantly here Lord Kuran's deep, calm voice and the rather higher voice of Madam Pomfrey. The door opens and Kaname-sama walks cautiously in, head tilted to the side. I open my mouth to greet him when the ghost girl floats in behind me, she's crying dark, sticky tears of blood and her neck is at an awkward angle, mascara tears staining her pale cheeks and a trickle of haemaglobin (okay fine blood) exiting the right corner of her mouth. She's wearing a hauntingly insane expression and her eyes are both dull and impossibly bright at the same time. It's bloody terrifying.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARGH!" I scream at the top of my lungs.

Madam Pomfrey jumps and Kaname's eyes flare wide.

"Scared of me?" she drifts closer, her eyes wide and hazy, a voice soft and child-like. "Senpai?" I black out. I'm her fucking senpai.


	18. Round one is finis!

**Me: One day, I'll own Vampire Knight and Harry Potter!**

 **Jean: But not today - _laughs-_**

 **Me: Go fuck yourself horseface.**

 **Jean: I'M NOT A HORSEFACE!**

 **Me: The internet says otherwise now GOOOOOO!  
**

 **Jean: _-ears bleeding-_ FINE!**

 **Back to Ginny's PoV**

Awesomewriter soon returns, cheeks flushed and mouth curved into a laughing smile.

"His face!" she splutters, "Well I gotta go now. Damn homework." She drifts into the abyss of time and space...okay, that's just me over dramatising it, I'm sure she'll be back. After all, she's writing this story.

We wait for about five minutes and then the door opens to reveal a wide-eyed Ichijo clinging to the arm of a slightly amused Lord Kuran.

They take their places in the circle, Ichijo nibbling his lower lip, stuffed full of anxiety.

Lord Kaname turns to Hermione:

"I dare you to show everybody what you were looking at on your phone earlier."

Hermione's face falls. Suddenly, she stands.

"YOU'LL NEVER TAKE ME ALIVE!" she shrieks and runs around the room, chased by a giggling Rima, a spaced-out and dreaming Luna, a smiling Hannah, a cheeky Dean-oh fuck it I can't come up with an adjective for everybody, especially whilst I'm joining the chase. She was chased by everybody except for the unconscious Malfoy and the ever-dignified Lord.

Suddenly, Kain, who's ahead along with Seiren, Rima and Ichijo, springs forward and tackles her to the ground, snatching her phone, scrambling to his feet and sprinting away. Ichijo focuses on the sole of her shoe as she stands and it disintegrates, making her trip. Luna, Yuki and I immediately sit on her, preventing her from standing up.

He opens it up and silently reads what's on the screen before laughing long and hard.

"Oh my god, she's reading an ereri fanfic!" He snorts with laughter.

"Wait." Yuki interjects, "Ereri or Ereuri?"

"Ereri, duh! Nobody ships Ereuri-nobody sane anyway!" Hermione answers for him.

"I thought I was the only one!" Yuki squeals, sliding off of Hermione's back and ushering Luna and I off too. Hermione stands an brushes dust from her skirt before enveloping Yuki in a hug.

"Have you read the ones where Eren is a Neko?" she asks.

"Omigod yessssss! I love how shitty glasses is the ultimate shipper of ereri." Yuki gushes.

"You mean you guys like SnK/AoT too?" Ichijo gasps, "I'm sorry but Levi is such a clean freak."

Luna bursts out laughing, "And Jean looks like a horse."

 **Jean: I DO NOT! Why does everyone say that?!**

 **Me: Put a sock in it. You DO look like a horse, although it is debatable which end. Now fuck off.**

"Hello, Erwin's eyebrows?" Yuki comments, a smile twitches at the corner of her mouth.

"Armin is a blonde coconut." Dean interjects, laughing silently. They all snigger together. What the fuck are they on about? I think they're all collectively high...

Hermione's PoV

After a highly fascinating conversation about Levi's fascination with windex, we sit back in the circle.

"Okay, so we've done round one. Round two, you have to do your dare and answer a truth too. Sound good?"

There are murmurs of agreement around the circle as Draco sits up and passionately declares, "WORRY NOT THOU BRAVE PRINCESS YUKI! I SHALT SAVE YOU FROM THE DRAG-oh." he looks around a blushes.

"H-hi."

Nobody can contain their laughter any longer-this is going to be a great exchange!


	19. A dramatic arrival!

**Yuki: Hiya '177!**

 **Me: Hi Yuki!**

 **Yuki: So, how are you?**

 **Me: Not good, just found out that those Yorkie chocolate biscuit bars are labelled "for man power", you can't just put chocolate in something and then declare it's for men!**

 **Yuki: That's evil. Even worse than JK Rowling owning Harry Potter!**

 **Me: I know right?! It's almost as bad as me not owning night world.**

 **Yuki: Let's go eat some "manly" chocolate and cry together.**

 **Me: Sounds like a plan.**

Zero's PoV

You have no idea how hard it was to sneak the bloody rose gun through security. Several times, I expected to be arrested, but I wasn't. Now I'm somewhere in the north of this fucking freezing country. It's the bloody middle of spring and I swear it's frosty! I can see the castle looming in the distance. How dare they kidnap Yuki! Don't worry, my precious, I'm coming to save you. The castle is on a cliff with jagged rock jutting out of the face. There's no other way to reach it. I must climb. Hang in there Yuki-chan, Zero is your hero!

Luna's PoV

I wake up groggy in the cold hours of the morning when everybody is starting to sit up and/or change. I slip on a floaty, white dress and some carniple earrings-you never know when blabsnabbers might try to burrow into your brain! I also wear a cinnamon necklace. No reason other than the scent of course, I really like the smell of cinnamon. My mother used to love it, she's make us apple and cinnamon crumble and the aroma would creep through the entire house. I take a deep breath. Why did my mother have to die?

I sigh as the bell goes and Draco squeals in surprise, jumping into the arms of a startled Dean Thomas who immediately drops him. On his bum, on the floor. His incredulous, pained expression would warm even the coldest of hearts! We walk out of the room, all of the exchange boys are wearing semi-smart suits and have red roses through their top button hole. If this is their 'casual' wear than what are they going to wear for the ball in 5 nights time?

We walk casually chattering into the great hall. Yuki and Dean are laughing together at the front with Ginny and Hermione directly behind, Hermione earnestly giving a lecture about S.P.E.W. I'm standing a little way behind Malfoy, who's stepping on Hermione's heels, with Rima and Kain. They seem nice. Then there's Kaname and Seiren and the others.

Suddenly, the door to outside flies open revealing a panting, silver haired boy with a tattoo on his neck. **(Time to embarrass Zero, mua ha ha ha ha!)** His face is reddened as he dashes over to Yuki, yelling

"I'm here to rescue you Yuki-chan!" He grabs her and clings to her tightly. "I'm sorry I couldn't save you before, I'm sorry I let Kuran kidnap you!"

Yuki's PoV

Wow Zero kinda smells nice, a little like soap-a lot of soap actually-with a hint of lemongrass mixed in and a hint of ginger. It's quite a warming smell, pleasant. But he's hugging me rather tight and I think he's crushing my rib, I can't breathe.

I CAN'T BREATHE!

"Zero...can't...breathe." I gasp, but he doesn't hear me.

I'm wrenched from his arms into the embrace of another, wow, why does everybody smell so good? No I feel self conscious and crazy because I'm yammering on about the aroma of the people around me. But this person smells like sugared donuts mixed with some coconut. It's a delicious scent and I look up from my strong hug, expecting to see Kaname-sama. Instead I see...Malfoy? That's right, I'm being held by Draco fucking Malfoy.

I'm slightly grateful...

"You hurt her!" He yells at Zero.

"Who are you?!" Growls Zero in reply, "Don't touch her!" He grabs my arm and yanks me away from Draco, spinning me slightly. Draco grabs my other arm and pulls me back towards him.

"STOP IT! I'M NOT A ROPE AND THIS ISN'T TUG OF WAR!" I pull myself free and Kaname takes my hand, leading me slightly away, soothing me.


	20. Fellow Female

**My Brain: ERERI! ERERI! ERERI! ERERI!**

 **Draco: HEY! Why are you never thinking about meeeeeeeeeee?**

 **My brain: IDIOT ALERT! IDIOT ALERT! EREN AND LEVI SITTIN IN A TREE, BEING WATCHED BY HANGE ZOE!**

 **Draco: That's just insulting, MUGGLE! Just you wait until my father hears about this!**

 **Harry: I don't give a damn what your father thinks Malfoy! He's vile and-**

 **Me: Oi! He's not insulting YOU! Honestly, people these days!**

 **Hermione: HARRY! That's impolite!**

 **Ron: 'oo are oo awkin oo? (A/N: He's eating so it comes out garbled. Translation: 'Who are you talking to?')**

 **Ron: -** ** _swallows-_** **Oh the girl who thinks she owns Harry Potter and Vampire Knight...break it to her gently alright?**

 **Me: FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE RON, I ALREADY KNEW NOW LEAVE ME SO I CAN CRY IN PEACE WITH YUKI AND HERMIONE AND FINISH EATING MY 'MANLY' CHOCOLATE!**

 **Hermione: Honestly Ron, you are so tactless. Come on, '177, let us leave these imbeciles.**

 **Me: A superlative idea, my friend of a high intelligence! I say, it is ridiculously hot. Almost possible to deliquesce!**

 **Ron: Me no speak smart-smart**

 **Draco: Draco not made of smarticle particles.**

Yuki's PoV

The two boys circle each other like wolves.

"She's MINE!" Draco yells suddenly, so high I swear only wolves can hear it. **(Wow am I keen on this wolf analogy/metaphor-oh whatever it's a literary device)**

"No, she's mine." Zero growls back.

I clear my throat, gathering their attention. "Umm... I'm not an item...also, can I choose neither of you?"

"NO!" Zero barks **(A/N: Canine features-wow, I've still got wolves on the brain...maybe I'll go into coyotes too soon...)**

"Choose somebody, Bella!" Draco whines.

We all gape at him. "Did you just..?" Ginny gasps. There is a millisecond of stunned silence which I break by yelling:

"HE QUOTED FROM THE DEMON BOOK! THE DEVIL'S BIBLE!"

 **Devil: Excuse me? Twilight? Do NOT associate me with that book! Never read it but since you seem to hate it, '177 and Draco likes it, I can safely say I do not want to be relative to the literary work which divided our nation and many others in the process of selling.**

 **Me: Swallow a dictionary again?**

 **Devil: Regrettably, yes. I pissed off Levi Ackerman by saying that 'sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me' and he threw a thesaurus at me. I dodged, crashed into a book shelf and ended up digesting 'The Oxford's Mini Dictionary for Brainboxes, signed special edition."**

 **Me: so THAT'S where it went! Has it...made an appearance yet?**

 **Devil: WTF?!**

 **Me: Never mind, just try to avoid word vomit.**

 **Devil: Will do, now let us get back to this fascination of the mind, this spectacle of merriment, this-**

 **Me: Put a sock in it smarty pants. Funny story, when I was little I used to think that was people with knickers with colourful dots on them...**

 **Devil: Random, weird-would you like me to continue?**

 **Me: ON WITH THE STORY!**

"Technically, I didn't 'quote directly' I don't think anybody ever says exactly that, but..."

He trails off after receiving several mutinous glares.

"So now she'll prefer me! CHOOSE, YUKI!" Zero ends with a pitiful whine, before I can open my mouth, he interrupts, "And it _CAN'T_ be Kuran."

I poke my tongue out at him.

"Fine then I choose...DEAN."

"DEAN?!" Everyone yells.

"Me?" Dean shrugs. "Okay, sure. You seem really nice and I like your music videos, so thanks. Plus, you're very friendly, pretty-wow-I feel sorry for those two losers."

He points at Draco and Zero. "And everybody else who wanted you. They need to learn that you are a living, breathing PERSON not an object. Anyway, let's go and sit at the exchange table shall we-leave these two buffoons to battle it out."

I smile and graciously accept his arm.

"B-but, Yuki!" Zero cries in a pained sob, "I climbed up the cliffside for you."

I give him THE look, which says 'are you an idiot?!'

"You do realise that there are steps, right? There's also a bridge, a lake with boats and-"

"ALRIGHT, ALRIGHT! I GET IT!" Zero snaps, cutting off a smirking Hermione and making everybody jump.

He looks at me and falls to his knees, "Yuki please..." He begins to cry and then suddenly stands up, "YOU JUST WANT TO PLAY WITH MY EMOTIONS!" he screeches.

"Speaking of emotions...you seem hormonal. Are you on your man-period?" Nice one from Ginny there.

Zero pauses awkwardly. "I-umm-er..." his voice drifts away into silence which is broken by a 'crunch' sound.

I whip around to see the headmaster eating a packet of popcorn, eyes focused on us with a raptured expression. I become extremely aware of the entire school watching us. I wave. WHAT?! How am I supposed to know what to do.

To my surprise, many of them wave back. A girl with dark hair in braids stands up from the Gryffindor table and walks over.

"Hi Yuki, I'm Angelina, captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team" Quidditch? "and fellow female. I understand your situation. Dean and I are both Gryffindors-wanna sit at the Gryffindor table with us today?"

"S-sure." I reply, shaky as I absorb the silence.

A weak sound is heard from behind me and I turn slightly to see Draco and Zero crying over each other. Wow...they'd make a GREAT gay couple. I SHIP THEM ALREADY!

Angelina leads us-well me, Dean walks slightly ahead of her-to the Gryffindor table and I sit. What an...interesting encounter.


	21. Chapter 21

**Devil: Are you INSANE like me?**

 **Me: Been in PAIN like me?**

 **Devil: Bought a hundred dollar bottle of CHAMPAGNE like me?**

 **Me: Just to pour that motherfucker down the DRAIN like me?**

 **Devil: Would you use your water bill to dry the STAIN like me?**

 **Me: Are you high enough without the Mary-JANE like me?**

 **Devil: Do you tear yourself apart to enterTAIN like me?**

 **Me: Do the people whisper 'bout you on the TRAIN like me?**

 **Devil: Sayin that you shouldn't waste your-**

 **Whirlpool 833 (Angel): Hey guys, watcha doin?**

 **Devil+Me+Halsey fans+nightcore fans: YOU RUINED IT! WE WERE IN THE MIDDLE OF GASOLINE! -** ** _attack Angel-_**

 **Angel: Ouch! Hey! Watch where your elbows go missy! By the way, is this a bad time to mention that Awesomewriter doesn't own Harry Potter or the Night World..?**

 **Me: KILL HER!**

* * *

Hermione's PoV

I sit at the Gryffindor table and rest my head on my elbows, watching Professor McGonagall lead the two hysterical boys out of the great hall. Wow. Just. Wow.

I realise that as well as sitting in between Ron and Harry, I'm also directly opposite Yuki! Ron is opposite Dean and Angelina is opposite Harry! Maybe, just maybe, I can find out something else besides what I already know.

1\. She's not normal

2\. she has power

3\. either she doesn't know or she's hiding it

4\. it's more powerful than anybody here plus all the vampires' combined

5\. somebody's out to get her, (This one's just a theory, but Professor Sprout and I checked for flesh-eating slugs and other pests together BEFORE the exchange along with Neville, Hannah Abbott and some 2nd and 3rd formers, including Colin Creevey, besides, I sneakily checked the tree afterwards and there's barely any slime and the slime that IS there is concentrated in one area meaning that slug was put there ON PURPOSE and by magic too. So I theorise that a wizard is out to get Yuki..)

I lean across the table, my bushy hair falling across my face. I try to put on a welcoming smile. "Hi Yuki!"

* * *

 **(A/N: Okay now I'm furious because I added to this chapter at school and defo saved it and then got home and refreshed it and the bastard of a chapter deleted itself. FML (HELP! I'M TURNING INTO ZERO KIRYUUUUUU! -cries in a corner-**

 **Devil: She's beyond help.**

 **Pyschiatrist: I agree, she keeps yelling at the wall thinking it's the Devi-OH MY FUCKING GOD I'M SEEING IT TOO!)**

* * *

I start to engage in conversation with her, telling her about Hogwarts. She seems entranced. Suddenly Ron leans over.

"Ahh 'oo 'ookee?"

"Pardon?" she asks politely.

I crumple my brow in a disgusted frown.

Ron swallows and tries again, "Are you Yuki?"

Yuki positively glows back at him, "That'd be me, yes, what's your name?" she tilts her head to the side, interested.

"I'm Ron, Ron Weasley and this is Harry Potter." he says Harry's name proudly, waiting for a reaction but Yuki just smiles.

"That's a nice name. Both 'Harry' and 'Potter' have double letters in the middle!"

How did I never notice that before? I'm supposed to be smart. No wonder Yuki's in Ravenclaw

"So are you guys all in Gryffindor?"

I nod, "Yes, Gryffindor for the brave and the bold."

A look of curiosity drapes over her features, "What's Ravenclaw?"

"Intelligence." Harry replies.

"Then the hat made a grave mistake with me, I'm afraid."

Character judgement:

-Low self-esteem-either that or she's trying to hide her smarts and make us underestimate her because clearly she holds a lot of intelligence

-sweet-or at least she seems so

-powerful-and she's either hiding it or unaware of it.

-enchanting-literally it's like she's got everybody under a spell, even me! She just seems so kind and nice and at the same time not afraid to lash out so she's not all wimpy. She's like a magnet and we're all drawn to her. I even caught Umbridge looking at her in a motherly fashion. UMBRIDGE. MOTHERLY.

-Yuki is not normal.

"What does Yuki mean?" a shy but friendly voice comes and we turn to look at Neville who delicately blushes, "Because...I just thought...I mean I read that...sorry." he averts his gaze.

"Snow princess."

"What?"

"It means 'snow' and so a lot of people say it means 'snow princess', depending on how it's written it can also mean 'happiness', but I don't spell it that way. To be honest, it ties in quite well with my past-I'll tell you later, Neville, okay? It wasn't not a particularly pleasant past and I feel a bit shy telling everybody but you're clearly very understanding so, I'll tell you. Is that okay? O-only if you would like to hear it."

Neville nods, "I'll tell you my backstory too, in exchange." he looks downcast, "Nobody here knows it."

* * *

Harry's PoV

 _Except me, Neville._

 _I know it, Neville._

 _I saw her trial, Neville._

 _I won't judge you, Neville._

 _I understand Neville._

"I know a haiku about painful pasts." Angelina's voice was barely a murmur.

"How does it go?"

"It-it's in Japanese, so I probably won't pronounce it correctly, sorry." she clears her throat softly,

"Kiyoku no ai,

Imoto no itami

Ai nikomete"

"It's beautiful." I comment.

"Thanks. I think that 'kiyoku' means memory, so...that's all I know. Can you translate it, Yuki?" Angelina asks tentatively.

"Of course, it means:

Memory of love

Past of pain

Soothed by love"

* * *

 **(A/N: Yes I made that haiku up and it took ages because I don't know Japanese so I used the internet and gosh none of the translations for anything had the right amount of syllables but finally, it's 5,7,5 and I know it's crappy cos I repeated the word love but it was the only one syllable word I could find which fit so don't judge.)**

* * *

"Haiku's are beautiful." Lavender sighs from a little way up the table.

"Does anybody know anymore?"

"I know quite a few." Yuki smiles, "Any particular topic?"

"Not from me, it's all your choice." she smiles, "Anyone else got a preference?"

"What about cherry blossom?" Dean requests, "I've heard it's a big thing in Japan, Lord Kaname told me that there's even a festival!"

"Okay, here goes..."

* * *

 **(A/N: Fuck...now I'm digging myself into a hole, I need to make some more. OR...I could find them on the internet. MUA HA HA HA HA!)**

She pauses for a second, "Ooh! Got one, I made this one up myself-it's in English though, I created it as a challenge:

Blossom like a ghost,

Falling from the slender trees

White as the cold snow..."


	22. Sorting Zero

**(A/N: The song is 'fuqboi' by Hey Violet I would recommend the nightcore version)**

 **...**

 **Devil+Me: Yeah you're a fuq-boooiiiiiiiii!**

 **Angel: This again?**

 **Devil+Me: I'd rather cut out ma tongue than let you kiss me with yours!**

 **Angel: I literally don't think they can hear me...**

 **Me: Alright, listen up people far and wide! There is a growing epidemic and it does not just affect America but the whole wor-**

 **Divine Spirit Guy: Hold up, hold up! Why would it only affect America? What's America got to do with this? You're English!**

 **Devil: I thought we killed you.**

 **DSG: No, you only prepared to do that...You never actually went through with it. I'm here because I thought that Angel might miss the soft, comfy cloud beds...**

 **Angel: So soft...so soft...**

 **DSG: Unlimited hugs... Cute baby animals...**

 **Angel: HE BROKE ME! I CRACKED! I'M SORRY GUYS BUT I'M GOING BACK! I CAN'T ENDURE HELL ANY LONGER!**

 **Devil+Me: Brat.**

 **Devil: Is it because of the beds with spikes?**

 **Me: They're not THAT bad-they give you a nice shoulder and back massage!**

 **Angel: I'm really sorry guys.**

 **DSG: To add insult to injury, '177 doesn't own Vampire Knight or Harry Potter. SUCKER!**

 **-** ** _They leave-_**

 **Me: We are SO declaring war on them**

 **Devil: Yep, but first we need to kill DSG his squeaky voice and curly moustache is really getting on my nerves.**

 **Ryuk: He sounds like a constipated mouse.**

 **Constipated mouse: RUDE! I SOUND** **NOTHING** **LIKE HIM!**

...

Angelina's PoV

Yuki is so sweet!

Honestly she's angelic.

I really like her.

I hope she likes me.

She's so _beautiful_ as well, really, she's fragile-looking as well, like a cherry blossom. Ghostly pale and intensely beautiful, the Japanese cherry blossom is the perfect metaphor for her. I want-no NEED-her to like me.

"Hey Yuki?" I lean forward, cupping my palm around my cheek, "Is Akatsuki single?"

She giggles, "As far as I can tell, yes. But be warned, you may have to fight your way through hoards of angry fangirls if you want him. The amount of times I've been trampled is honestly ridiculous!"

"Is that where you got that bruise from?" My head jerks up as the ever-insensitive Ron points shamelessly to a bruise just under her collarbone only visible because the top button of her cute blue blouse is undone.

"Uh-umm-err." her eyes panic and she quickly fumbles to redo her button, failing as she is clearly stressed by this remark.

"Here." I reach over and slide the button into the slot with a quick smile. "I apologise for Ron. As Hermione once told him, he has the emotional range of a teaspoon!"

Yuki stifles a laugh and Ron gapes at me. "You heard that?"

Harry smiles, "Trust me Ron, _everybody_ heard that."

There is a loud cough from the front of the room and we turn to see Um-jump-off-a-bridge (My own original nickname for her, thank you, thank you) excessively clearing her throat with a simpering smile.

"Hello boys and girls." there is an audible groan which echoes through the room as we chant back "Hello professor Umbridge" with dull, tired faces.

"Well I must say, it is always nice to see your smiling faces beaming back up at me" Beaming? She must be joking. I swear this woman is batshit crazy. "Now, I know we have already. sorted our exchanges, but we have had a new arrival who plans to leave again _tonight."_ She puts a strong emphasis on 'tonight'. "But since no unsorted creature has ever roamed the corridors of this school-even that despicable poltergeist has a house-we have decided to sort him."

That silver-haired idiot from earlier is standing behind her with a glare that could make Luna admit that nargles don't exist.

Professor McGonagall places the hat on his head and the whole school waits with bated breath...except for Ron who is stuffing his mouth.

Zero's PoV

I jump as the hat bellows into my ear.

"WELL WELL WELL! WHAT HAVE WE HERE?!'

 _Kuso!_ I mentally curse. **(A/N: fuck)**

"LANGUAGE!"

I roll my eyes.

"Wow, you're a bit useless aren't you?"

"Excuse me?" I gasp, out loud obviously, "Did you just call me USELESS?!"

"Well you are a bit, aren't you?"

"Yeah well you're not to useful yourself, placing people on random tables to stir up gossip." I retort.

"And a bit dumb..."

"How so?"

"...I wont bother telling you it's too amusing!"

 _UUUUUGHHHH!_ I scowl.

I suddenly realise that this could be my opportunity-if I get into Eagleclaw with Yuki, I can spend the day with her, thwarting Kuran's advances.

"Umm...Hat-sama..."

"Buttering me up are you?"

"N-no." I stammer.

"C-could I please be in-"

"Ravenclaw with Yuki?"

 _Oops. Ma bad! Thought it was_ _eagle claw...why is their animal an eagle not a raven? It's just confusing._

 _"_ Nobody else gets confused."

"Will you shut your...never mind. Please could I?"

"Nope."

"But why not."

"It's not your house."

"BUT THE BUZZFEED QUIZ SAID I WAS!" I wail.

"And did you lie about ur IQ?"

For a second there I'm speechless-it's as if the strange piece of clothing read my mind! **(A/N: It did, you imbecile! And the entire school is listening to your replies!)**

"...maybe."

"Thought so. It may have worked for that smooth-talking, intelligent, handsome lord, but you're just not suited for either Yuki or Ravenclaw."

"KURAN!" I thunder, fury clouding my thoughts.

"A temper too...phew I feel sorry for that poor girl subjected to your anger, you taking it out on her sweet, juicy, pale, white, throbbing, full, delicious, satisfying...neck."

The quiet taunt stabs me hard.

This hat is driving me crazy.

I honestly feel the need to kill someone.

"Why the hell are you insulting me, hat?" I spit.

"It's fun. Besides, I saw inside his mind. And hers, so innocent and pure. Well...not for long but I wont tell you about that yet. You are a despicable animal, slowly draining her of her life blood..."

"I AM NOT! OKAY I AM! WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO FUCKING DO ABOUT IT?! CAN WE GET BACK TO SORTING ME NOT DISSECTING THE MINDS OF THE PEOPLE WHO KNOW ME AND CRITICISING ME?!"

"It's all part of the process."

"Daikirai." I mutter. **(A/N: I hate you.)**

"Anata ni modotte" **(A/N: Back at you.)**

A cold, slimy worm of fear burrows into my heart. This strange, enchanted object can speak Japanese, read minds and who knows what else! What if it could be used to hurt Yuki.

"Wow. So you seem to care about the girl you are slowly killing."

"Damare. DAMARE!" **(A/N: Shut up. SHUT UP!)**

"Watashi ga damattara, watashi wa anata no ie o oshiete kuremasen." **(A/N: If I shut up, I can't sort you)** The object of diabolical maleficia chortles back at me.

"So...you're definitely not brave enough for Gryffindor, no pride or anything remotely good enough for Slytherin, as for Ravenclaw-even if you were clever enough, which you're not, I would never, _NEVER_ subject that poor girl to more time around such a moody bundle of uselessness. So, since your pretty much good for nothing I have no choice but to dump you in Hufflepuff. The other members are still many classes above you."

He raises his voice and shouts out "HUFFLEPUFF FOR THE BAKA!" the stern-faced, old woman lifts the hat from my head. Nobody applauds. Everybody is frozen. Well..everybody except a redhead sitting near Yuki who's busy stuffing his mouth with as much food as possible. I make my way down to the Hufflepuff table. They greet me politely but instinctively shy away from me. They make no contact. Nobody wants to touch a monster like me.


	23. Defence against the dark arts

**Me: -innocently eating my 3rd helping of pavlova-What? Don't judge!**

 **Devil: That's your third helping.**

 **Me: And?**

 **Devil: Don't you usually wait until the fifth before glaring at people and becoming defensive.**

 **Me: I've also had 2 and a half slices of cheesecake and a stick of strawberry pocky.**

 **Devil: Oh. Okay. Why?**

 **Me: Dunno. It was there so I ate it. I guess maybe I was hungry?**

 **Devil: Bored hungry or hungry?**

 **Me: Bored hungry.**

 **Devil: Okay.**

 **Psychiatrist 2: Again she is talking to the wall-it's most peculiar. I have to say, after my colleague started seeing the 'devil' too and I took over, I've been most surprised by this patients behaviour...and her appetite. Maybe she's eating to fill the void created by her not owning Harry Potter or Vampire Knight?**

 **Me: SCREW YOU!**

* * *

Yuki's PoV

I flick through the book Hermione lent me last night. It's in English, but it's really good. It's called 'The Hazel Wood' **(A/N: Yes, this is a real book and it's fan fucking tastic. I read it literally earlier today and Im in love!)** _Not the ones my grandmother wrote, allegedly-those women drew blood._

Draw? But that means doro. How can these women draw blood. Like paint it. That doesn't make sense.

I slide my dictionary out of my bag and flick through the pages "Drew blood..." I murmur, bewildered. "Ohhh it's like cutting someone! Drawing blood! Saiketsu shimasu! Duh." I smack my forehead in a light facepalm before turning back to "The Hazel Wood" and continuing.

 _No, she was the worst type of Grimm Brothers beauty_ Who are the 'Grimm brothers' I voice this question out loud to myself. In English because, you know, when in Rome do as the Romans do and all that jazz.

"They wrote a lot of fairytales." I turn to see a raven-haired boy leaning over and extending his hand. I grip it, palms pressed firmly together, false confidence oozing from my pores. I scan him over:

-lively, uncontrollable hair

-fringe

-barely visible lightning scar under fringe

-round glasses

-green eyes

-honest smile

-thin, malnourished

-friendly

-Red/gold tie=Gryffindor

So he's brave...interesting.

"I'm Harry. Harry Potter. I'm friends with Hermione, I noticed you two chatting at breakfast, but I was too busy eating a muffin to eavesdrop. You won't _believe_ how delicious the blueberry ones are."

I giggle at his slight curve of the mouth. A frank, hilarious smile. Hang on-Harry! Ginny mentioned him. A lot. Okay, so she likes-or liked-him, he's famous and he's a hero and he's best friends with Hermione and Ginny's brother, Ron. Or-in her words-the pig who lives in my house.

"Yuki. Yuki Cross."

"Pleasure to meet you Yuki-chan."

"You know the correct Japanese honourifics..." I trail off in wonderment.

"Well, you know what they say. 'Manners Maketh Man' and hey, it's really not true but it's nice to converse with someone who bothers. For instance, you have a firm grasp of the English language and you're reading an English book, muttering to yourself in English so this is the least I could do. I'd be a Baka not to try."

My eyes light up at the use of the word 'Baka'.

"Oh-I also learnt a few Japanese words. Now I sound truly cosmopolitan!"

"Cosmopolitan?" I inquire hesitantly.

"well travelled" he defines it amiably. If that's possible. He seems nice, really nice.

"So, whatcha reading?"

"Hēzeruuddo." I reply in Japanese, so at ease with this boy I momentarily forget to retranslate back into English. My hands fly to my mouth at his puzzled expression. I am a true Baka, "Sorry, I mean 'The Hazel Wood'."

"Is it good?"

"Fantastic!" I reply, my eyes shining at the prospect of this book which had me hooked from the second my gaze fell the cover.

"Well I'll stop pestering you and let you get on with reading it."

"You weren't pestering me." he smiles back at me after this remark.

"I hope I wasn't. I try to have more tact than certain individuals-okay, Ron!" he's funny too. He smiles before averting his gaze as I reopen my book.

 _Grimm Brothers beauty: isolated, soft-spoken, waiting for a man to save her._

"Sekushisito!" **(A/N: Sexist!)** I mutter vehemently. From the other side of me, Rima laughs. "Ochitsuita Yuki!" **(A/N: Calm down Yuki it's just a book)**

I poke my tongue out at her.

 _She probably looked like me._

 _"You take Laura" I-_

"Hello little boys and girls." I glance upwards to see a toadlike woman standing in the doorway-she might be even smaller than me! That's short. I mark my page and slide the book away. This woman is creepier than a shinigami! Her smile is wider, too, something I thought biologically impossible-seriously, read death note and looks at Ryuk's mouth. Now think, this woman's mouth is wider. Wouldn't you be just a little afraid? I am. More than a little.

My eyes flicker from her mouth, trailing upwards to her eyes. I shudder as I peer through her icy gaze into the mind of a sadist. This woman is NOT someone I think I'll like. She may be even scarier than Touga. Hang on. Back up a bit, that's impossible. Nope, not accepting it. NOBODY is scarier than Touga.

"Now, we have some... _vampires..._ joining us today." her voice is sickly sweet but she spits the word 'vampires', twisting her mouth into an ugly shape and spraying spittle.

She clearly disproves...but underneath the disparaging surface I detect a fearful glance. She's _scared!_ Of the vampires! Who wouldn't be? I swear, without Kaname being totally amazing 24/7 I'd believe that I was doomed-even with artemis! That's why we keep their existence a secret from the day class students.

Suddenly she locks eyes with me and something flickers behind her eyes.

"Miss Cross? Would you hand out the books?" she simpers holding out a huge stack.

I smile in reply. Kill 'em with kindness. Okay, that doesn't reply to Level Es but this woman is going DOWN! Because unfortunately for her, Japanese society is built on a solid base of manners.

I stand and quickly bow, "It'd be my pleasure sensei. Might you tell me where the books are located?"

"Okay." her taunting grin grows wider as she points to the top of a filing cabinet.

"And please don't disturb any of the other students I have placed a questionnaire on everybody's desks about the safety of magic and vampirism together however I decided that you don't need to complete it." Well that rules out asking Kaname-sama to reach them down for me, "Please retrieve the books and hand them out."

Kaname-sama puts his hand up anyway.

"Yes? Mr?"

"Kuran, Professor."

"Oh. A lord. Let me guess, you have a _lordly_ aim, you want to be gentlemanly and help her? I'm afraid not, sir. Not everybody in polite society has such manners so she must use her initiative." she clearly thinks she has the edge over him and her attitude clearly annoyed every other vampire in the room. They're all seething with rage.

Kaname-sama just nods and politely takes his hand down. But his eyes are challenging. Not openly or defiantly but there's a steel in them and the ghastly Professor squirms slightly under his glare as he studies her for half a second. She shakes it off though as soon as he's stopped

She leans back in her padded seat, taking a triumphant sip of coffee from a harshly pink mug.

Waiting for me to cry out, yell at her or lose my discipline at the impossible task she watches, her smile almost splitting her face in two. Like the joker. The other smiling psychopath. To survive the joker, you have to tread carefully. Laugh along and play to his jokes. So this is _her_ joke. Interesting. I lift up my metal chair with ease-I'm stronger than I look, all that fighting off hungry Level E's (you would not believe how many have actually attacked me. Kaname-sama and Zero-san know about roughly 3% of them only)-her eyes bulge as I easily stretch my arms up so it's well above my head and carry it through the desks.

I know that Kaname could easily use his telekinesis to help me and he's watching intently, that's clearly his aim, but I want to beat this toad fair and square. I give an almost imperceptible shake of my head. He raises an eyebrow, questioning, but I shake my head again wide eyed so he sighs and goes back to his questionnaire, still watching me intently in his peripheral vision. As I turn my head back towards the shelf I realise that the bitter woman had watched the entire exchange and was examining me closely.

Bitch.

The thought shocked me greatly. I NEVER swear-not even in my head.

She's just trying to get a rise out of me.

Stop reacting.

I clear my thoughts and make my face impassive as I set the chair down and step up on it.

Great. I'm still not tall enough.

Professor Umbridge smirks, lines of triumph etched into her features. Her expression fills me with fury which starts a spark. This spark lights a fire of determination. I _will_ get these books.

The shelf is moderately high up and near some water pipes and cabinets. I could probably climb up although it is like 4 meters up. Seriously who's _that_ tall? Nobody. She set this up. The grim fact gives me yet another boost, this one adrenaline as I climb from the chair. I notice that everybody is subtly (well they're attempting to be subtle) watching me, neglecting their survey things. I walk back to the door and Umbridge watches me, challenging, expecting me to walk out of the door and complain to somebody because I have failed. Not. A. Chance. I back up to the door and suddenly sprint forward 5 paces before taking a running leap and flying onto the first cabinet into a defensive crouch position.

There is a collective gasp which I try to ignore, focusing on the unsteady cabinet rocking from side to side. I shoot Kaname-sama a warning glare because he probably intends to steady it with his telekinesis before pressing myself flat against the top of the cabinet, legs squeezing the sides and palms pushing into the wall, slowing and eventually stopping the rocking movements. Yes!

Focus! I'm not there yet, this is stage one.

I do catch a quick glimpse of Umbridge's face. Priceless! Her eyes are almost falling out of her skull and her mouth is gaping open like a depressed goldfish-oh that _is_ a good analogy! Steadying myself I uncoil my body into a standing position. There are about two meters between this cabinet and the next one but this is the only way to get up because the next one is way too tall.

I can't jump that far. I switch my eyeliner so I'm looking up. There are several pipes quite high above. If I jump...I might hit them, or I might come crashing down. Or...

I pull Artemis from my thigh under my cute purple skirt. It's a really nice one with-anyway I'm getting sidetracked. This is what happens when they let us wear our own clothes!

I extend her to that she touches the pipes and then angle her until she's jammed between them. Then. I try not to think of the opportunity Im giving everybody to perv on my and observe my knickers as I shin up the pole and haul myself onto the pipe. It's hot and I burn my knees on the metal. It's fine though because I haven't cut myself on any of the sharp flakes of rust. Honestly, does anybody ever clean up here?

I find myself getting sidetracked yet again, using my sleeve to wipe dust and rust off of the metal pipe but avoiding every cobweb I see-I hate spiders.

Then I quickly swing under the pipe so that I am hanging upside down like a sloth. I begin to crawl, clinging tightly to the pipe to the cabinet. Then, I drop my feet down and touch them to the wooden top of the second cabinet. Honestly it is so dusty. They really need a better cleaner. Is that a spider?! I flinch backwards away from the offending arachnid, terror invading my mind and end up falling.

Luckily, my foot gets caught so I swing my upper half backwards down and hold onto one of the side drawers with my hands. I flip over, letting my feet fly and land on the way, my legs and torso at an awkward angle. I walk myself up the wall and, with a great deal of effort from my burning arms, push myself upright.

A cheer rings out and is quickly stifled thanks to Umbridge's evil glares. She looks surprised...and even more scared.

I'm on the _disciplinary committee_ this is nothing. I have to leap from heights and run around and try and hold off hoards of angry fangirl mobs on the daily. She should try-she'd come back wrecked.

I rest on my back foot, bending the knee and leaving the other one free to stretch. Perfect jumping position. I leap onto the shelf and grab the books. Swinging my legs over the edge I drop down onto the chair, bending my knees to absorb shock.

It doesn't work to well and I grit my teeth, suppressing a wince. Ouch. The shivering ripple of sharp pain and shock which rises through me is not pleasant, but I recover quickly and hop onto the floor. I walk past her desk to hand them out.

"Oh sorry. Those are the wrong ones! The correct ones were next to them." she beams sickeningly, picking up her stupid wand and directing it at the top of the shelf.

"Accio books" the textbooks come flying towards the desk-and me! I fling up my arms to protect myself and end up ducking and weaving to dodge them. I still end up getting hit then. In the cheek with a corner, right under the cheekbone. It hurts. I can feel it bruising. I can also feel my hatred for this witch blossoming.

"You're certainly committed, Miss Cross."

Oh, so now she wants to compliment me? Flatter me and get me on her side? Please don't make me laugh, Umbridge.

I smile graciously with a courteous bow, "Thank you Professor. It's always nice to have a little stretch. That was a good warm up."

I can see her expression growing to incredulity after that comment. I win-as always.

* * *

Umbridge's PoV

 _Warm up? WARM UP?! I have to admit though, that girl is dedicated and effortlessly polite. She respects me fully-I can feel it, that unquestioning loyalty. I like her. I DON'T like any of the others. Well, I suppose a little favouritism could help her settle in._

I clear my throat softly. "Lord Kuran? Since you wanted to present some chivalry how about you spare your friend some exertion and hand these out. I flick my wrist so that they obediently fly to his desk.

"We are all using these textbooks today rather than your own for we have some rather interesting reading about sexism in medieval hexes."

* * *

Hermione's PoV

Despite having Umbridge sitting at the front of the room taking vicious swigs from her overly strong coffee, it is rather interesting! Ron doesn't seem to think so though, both he and Zero Kiryuu are passed out on their desks. Idiots. Dean Thomas is wide eyed on a page about witch trials and Seamus Finnigan is folding an origami star using a strip of paper wrapped around a knot of paper like a pentagon which he then puffs out. He's made five and I watch, I've finished the chapter, as he glues them to an origami box lid which he places on a box filled with chocolate before writing something on the lid with his quill. He taps Lavender Brown and whispers something to her, passing the coloured paper box to her. She nods and gives it along to Parvati, whispering the message into her ears. I lean over Neville's shoulder slightly and read the curly letters.

"To Yuki

From Seamus

P.S look up to your left."

Neville passes it to Rima who reads it, peeks inside, nods appreciatively and passes it to Padma who passes it to Luna who passes it to Seiren who arches an eyebrow and hands it to Harry who taps Yuki on the shoulder and whispers "It's from Seamus" and places it on her desk.

She glances over to Seamus and sees him wave. A smile lights up her features and she pulls out a pen to write a reply when suddenly a gasp interrupts everybody's concentration.

Professor Umbridge looks up, startled and ready to reprimand. She doesn't. Left speechless by the sight she sees. I turn round to see a red-eyed Zero gripping the desk for dear life and eying everybody hungrily, muscles tensed ready to spring.

Yuki springs up immediately and grabs his arm, tugging him urgently towards the door. Suddenly Kaname looks imploringly at her, standing up in a fluid movement and then Ron's awake and up to, advancing but flinching away once faced with one of Kiryuu's snarls. Then Seiren is darting in front of Kaname, arms raised and prepared for combat. Several others prepare themselves, some unawares that magic doesn't affect vampires, bring out their wands. There are a few seconds of clamour than Yuki yanks him out of the door and down the corridor.

The door slams and shouting starts up.

"DRINKING HER BLOOD!"

"MY DEAR GIRL!"

"DISGRACE!"

"MONSTER!"

"LEVEL E"

"POOOR YUKI!"

"Settle down, SETTLE DOWN!" Umbridge slams her mug down, breaking it and narrowly avoiding slicing her finger.

"Granger. You go check the girls bathroom. Who wants to check the gents or wherever else."

Lord Kaname stands. "I will." his tone is laced with a precise, controlled venom which is spat with an icy cold glare. He pivots on his heel and marches to the door, me at his heels.

Once outside, he sniffs once and then sighs. "No good, her scent is everywhere."

"You check the right corridor and that bathroom and I'll check the corridor to the left and the mens."

Moaning Murtle's bathroom. Just great.

I open the creaking door just a crack and my eyes widen in shock. A pale Yuki is struggling with Zero's mouth attached to her neck.

"Zero! Stop...too much...help!" she fixes her desperate gaze on me. I enter the room and catch sight of her metal stick thing on the floor under the sink. It mustve rolled there. The bathroom isn't too wet so the cold, shiny metal isn't overly shiny.

How did she extend it earlier? Maybe just...squeeze?

"ZERO! STOP!" she gasps. There's a sickly yellowish tint to her face now.

Suddenly the pole springs out, thudding into Zero's ribs. He goes sprawling on the wet floor and closes his eyes, accepting unconsciousness.

"Yuki! Are you alright?"

Her eyes are half closed and bruises surround them. There are scratches on her arms where she tried to break free from his grasp and her neck wound is bleeding rather badly. I pull off my jumper and try to staunch the flow. I need Madam Pomfrey.

(word count: 3,365)


	24. Chapter 24

**Me: -yawn- Sleep? I don't need sleep!**

 **Brain: Hun, it's 4:53am, you haven't slept at all! YOU'RE TWELVE YOU FUCKING NEED YOUR SLEEP.**

 **Me: What was that? Keep staring at your laptop screen till dawn? Good idea!**

 **Brain: I give up.**

 **Me: Isn't this a disclaimer? Shouldn't someone harshly break it to me that I don't own Harry Potter or Vampire Knight?**

 **Brain: You said it, not me!**

* * *

Yuki's PoV

I feel the painful heat of something soft pressed against my sticky neck and then the more comfortable warmth of Hermione's embrace as I sink into darkness.

Black.

Black.

Black.

REDDDD! The blood crashes in huge tsunami waves, attacking me, sucking at my skin, at my face. Forcing it's way into my mouth, down my throat. I can't breathe-I CAN'T BREATHE! I try to call for help but I just wordlessly choke and then suddenly, in the blink of an eye, it's gone and I'm left alone again with crippling loneliness in this smothering blackness. I don't which is worse. The blood or the dark. They're both incredibly traumatising and I hate them.

I float around in the nothingness until I can feel myself being tugged back into reality.

I open my eyes a crack and find my vision blurred with sleep. I pass my knuckles briefly over my eyes and try to bear the brightness of the fluorescent lights. Where am I? I'm in a bed. White sheets. Impossibly clean white sheets. My neck doesn't hurt at all.

A large woman bustles in.

"Oh! You're awake!"

"How long was I out?"

"A while. Maybe 6 or 7 hours. But that's only natural. We gave you strong drugs and you're all healed now!"

"W-what time is it?" she tilts her wrist to check her watch.

"6:12" didn't notice wizards wore watches!

I nod, "Is Zero still here."

she shakes her head."He left at 5:30 after sobbing his heart out, saying he was a monster and holding a gun to his head. He brought you this."

I rest my gaze on a pack of pocky. **(aka the most delicious thing ever!)** "That was nice of him"

"Yes, it was." she agrees, "the poor boy was most upset about the incident."

I nod slightly, sinking back into a slumber only this one more welcoming and gentle.

 **(A/N: 412 words yes I know it's crappy and short deal with it I'm exhausted :P)**


	25. Discharged from the hospital wing

**Me: Okay so we need to kill DSG.**

 **Devil: We've been over this like 500,000,000,000,000 times. FIVE HUNDRED BILLION! What don't you fucking understand?!**

 **Me: How we** **kill him.**

 **Devil: Oh yeah...we never went over that bit did we...**

 **Me: EMBARRASS HIM! SHAME HIM INTO RECLUSIVITY!**

 **Devil: How?**

 **Me: With this video of him drunk hula dancing in a coconut bra, eww thong and grass skirt.**

 **Devil: How the fuck did you get that?!**

 **Me: I'm the writer, everything I say comes true!**

 **Devil: So if you say you own Harry Potter and Vampire knight-**

 **Me: No. It doesn't work.**

 **Devil: Okay...but hey since you have that power why not make up a few more blackmail-worthy things?**

 **Me: Okay, so here's a video of him dressed up as Miley Cyrus, twerking badly to 'Party in the USA', heres a picture of him cosplaying as Ariel from _The Little Mermaid._ That's just weird. Especially the seashell bra. I have here an autographed photo of him and Donald Trump...he's wearing a skirt...no a kilt-hey that's my family's kilt!**

 **Devil: Don't you need like a 'Mac' in your name to have a kilt?**

 **Me: Yeah, our family is part of the McLaren tribe thing, well our surname is.**

 **Devil: Interesting-we could tell everybody that he's trying to be you and has a crush on you!**

 **Me: bingo.**

* * *

Yuki's PoV

"So when can I go? I appreciate the care, I really do, but Ka-people will be worried."

"Anata wa anata no hoho ni iro ga tsuitara sugu ni modotte kuru kamo shiremasen. Tomodachi ga okutta okurimono no ikutsu ka o tabete mimasen ka?"

 **(A/N: You may go back as soon as you've got some colour in your cheeks. Why not eat some of the gifts your friends sent?)**

She speaks Japanese?

"Anata wa nihongo o hanasu koto ga dekimasu ka?" **(You can speak Japanese?)**

"hai." **(Yes)**

"Uwa! Anata wa hitobito ga "watashi ni purezento o okutta to iimashita dare?" **(Wow! You mentioned people had sent me presents. Who?)**

"Ā, subete no hitobito! Ginevra Weasley, runa Lovegood, Draco Malfoy, Dean tomasu, kurūn kyō, kōfun suru jinjā, senotakai, fukai yūmeina Kain, Hermione, harīpottā to Ron Weasley, Hermione ga karera o tsurete itta... Binsento Crabbe to Gregory Goyle, anata ga chokorēto no bā o motte kita toki ni anata o kanda shōnen wa, namida no kōzui ni hin shite ita Malfoy no ushiro ni iru."

 **(Oh all sorts of people! Ginevra Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Draco Malfoy, Dean Thomas, Lord Kuran, the exciteable Ginger, The tall, deep voiced one-Kain, Hermione, Harry Potter and Ron Weasley, Hermione dragged them along...Vincent Crabbe and Gregory Goyle, they were trailing behind Malfoy, the boy who bit you was in floods of tears when he brought you a bar of chocolate.)**

"Harem Zero." **(Poor Zero)**

"Watashi wa kare ni kyadobarī no chokorēto o ikutsu ka okutte, anata ni okoranai to itta." **(I gave him some cadbury chocolates and told him you weren't angry)**

"Arigato." **(Thanks)**

"Dōitashimashite" **(You're welcome)** she walks behind me and returns pulling a little table on wheels. It is stuffed with okashi **(sweets)** and cakes with colourful boxes and wrappers. Several have bright post-its telling me who they're from and others have tie-on tags but some are anonymous.

Madam Pomfrey (badge on her chest telling me her name) leaves and I pick up a house-shaped box at the front.

It has a little white piece of lined notepaper stuck on the front with a note hastily scrawled on it.

 _Hi Yuki. I don't really know you but Hermione made me get you a gift...you seem nice I guess, we should get to know each other better. I'm still confused how you know my sister but if she thinks your decent...than there's a high probability you are unpredictable and crazy, you should understand, knowing my sister._

I laugh,

 _Anyways hope that bloodsucker didn't drink you dry and you recover soon-you caused this huge scene it was brilliant! I think Umbridge almost passed out. She had this whole tantrum about vampires being filthy half-breeds and, by doing so, was obstructing the corridor making it hard for you to get to Madam Pomfrey. The lord guy put all the other vampires to sleep to stop keep them from having to resist and eliminate risks. He also put Umbridge to sleep because she was hindering your_ _progress. I think he likes you. He gave Zero a furious glare and said "If Yuki didn't care about you, I'd seriously injure you for this", then he went over to Hermione, helped lift you because she was sort of dragging you and carried you to the nurse. There was this whole kerfuffle! So at lunchtime Hermione dragged me and Harry to our dorms told us to get you a present pronto and then pulled us to the hospital wing. You're unconscious so I'm writing this note. You look really pretty I can see why that poisonous Malfoy and leech Zero like you. Do everyone a favour and DONT get with either of them. Anyway, hope you get better? Don't want to miss the food so I'm off bye!_

 _Ron_

The label's funny so I read it twice, laughing both times I peel it off the box and smooth it gently but firmly onto the exposed wood where the box previously sat.

I trace the swirly letters of the packet. 'Birtie Bott's Every Flavour Beans' **(A/N: Is it 'Berty or Birtie?)**

"Karera wa sore o imi suru." **(They Mean it)**

"huh?"

"Subete no aji. Karera wa sore o imi suru." **(Every flavour. They mean it)**

I hadn't realised that she had re-entered the room. She shoots me a quick smile before walking past to the other door and grabbing a blue vial with a fancy greenish-swirled, glass stopper.

"Here you go Cho, this'll help with the swelling. Here I'll bring you in."

I watch the door as a young girl limps in, leaning heavily on Madam Pomfrey. She eyes me curiously.

"Are you Yuki?"

"Yes. And you? Is your name Cho?"

She startles, "How did you?-Oh wait, she said it." she laughs, relaxing before letting slip a wince as she accidentally brushes her leg with her hand.

She perches on the edge of the bed next to me as Madam Pomfrey measures out a serving of the sticky, yellow sludge in the blue bottle.

"Here you go."

Cho tips it down her throat with a grimace. "Tastes like liquorice." she shudders. "Liquorice mixed with veritaserum."

"Veritaserum doesn't have a taste."

"Yes but I think the only person in this school who currently would be interested in feeding veritaserum to students with the means to do so is Umbridge and she's also the only person dopey enough to try to smuggle it to us in a muggle sweet as foul as this root! That's right, it's a vegetable so therefore it CANNOT be confectionary. Science." she taps her head with a friendly smile.

A bubble of helpless laughter bursts through my lips and then I'm off in hysterics. Cho joins in and even Madam Pomfrey's lips twitch into an amused smile which she tries in vain to hide. Guess Umbridge isn't that popular. Suddenly I remember.

"Kaname-sama knocked her out!"

"I know." she giggles, "Everyone's talking about it! Boy was he cross, but he has flawless reasoning and the valid excuse that it was a life or death matter and her little kiddie toddler tantrum was obstructing your treatment. Oh god, she was fuming! I had her for DADA the next period and she was ranting about 'innocent girls being attacked by greying dickheads' she literally said 'dickheads'! I have never laughed harder!

At this even Madam Pomfrey has to laugh and we don't stop for at least a minute. Cho finishes first, wiping her eyes.

"She likes you, you know!"

"Professor Umbridge?" I wrinkle my nose in disgust. "What a meinu!" **(A/N: bitch)**

Cho grins, "Kanojo wa totemo nisemonoda!" **(She's fake as well)** "Totemo sutekina furi o suru! Kanojo wa yūdokuna kumo no kosei o motte imasu." **(Pretending to be so nice! She has the personality of a poisonous spider)**

 **"** Anata mo nihongo o hanashimasu ka?" **(You speak japanese too?)**

"Hai!" she beams, "Madamu pomufurī to watashi wa yuiitsu no hitodesu." **( Yes. Madame Pomfrey and I are the only ones though.)**

"Sate,`subete no ajitsuke mame' wa nanidesu ka?" **(** **Okay, what are 'every-flavour beans'?)**

She explains and we share the pack. It amuses me greatly whenever Madame Pomfrey gets a bad one because of the faces she pulls! I understand though because I got the dog food one. YUCK!

When the pack's finished and Cho's swelling has gone down I smile graciously as Madame Pomfrey leaves to tend to a seventh year with disproportionately huge hands.

"Nani ka hoka no mono o erabu!" **(Pick something else!)**

I gesture to my 'treat table'.

"What's that?" she points to the pack of strawberry pocky from Rima and we split it.

In the end I have:

-the beans

-half a pack of strawberry pocky

-a cupcake which tastes like an electric daisy mixed with lots of golden syrup and green tea

-a chocolate frog

-a bar of English chocolate called 'Cadbury's'

-one levitating sherbet ball

Cho has

-the beans

-half a pack of strawberry pocky

-mango pocky from Ichijo

-classic pocky from Ichijo

-3 fizzing whisbees

-one levitating sherbet ball

That last one was a shock I can tell you! It's quite pleasant being weightless, but the sensation of leaving the ground is also terrifying!

By this time we've had a great conversation and her leg's healed. I feel fine and she dismisses us both. We wave as we part and I spring towards the large hall. Time to surprise everyone by being alive!

I feel laden down and stagger along with my sweets, chocolates and notes bundled up in my HEAVY satchel.

I quickly check my wristwatch. 6.47. okay, time has passed. Fun. I guess? I turn the corner and, with a deep breath, walk into the hall. My mouth drops open. What the?


End file.
